If You Know, Then You Know.

May 5, 2026

For future me, you didn’t post for two days straight—you just forgot to publish the last one. It was supposed to be posted on 1/5/2026. This one was also supposed to be published yesterday.

I am waiting excitedly for a new bag I bought for my tablet and keyboard. It has been so heavy hauling everything inside my handbag. I also bought a new book for journaling, and I hope it will turn out good. I do wonder if I’m just made for online journaling—i.e., doing this, writing on my blog.



I had three days off. I went to my friend’s wedding, and I was so happy for her. Then I spent a night in my hometown. The last time I went home was last August. I even went to my parents’ grave. I don’t know why I don’t like going there. I didn’t feel really connected somehow. I feel a lot more connected when I’m praying for them after my solat.

Today was a little dizzying. I know I need to be doing a lot, but I just can’t remember or focus because there are little things that keep taking my attention. Mostly, it was my siblings, since we got together this weekend, so topics of next activities and repairs around the home were discussed. Also, we need to settle this pusaka thingy, which clashes with my dental appointment. My head is spinnniiinggggg.

Apart from that, I need to focus on my work. For now, I aim to quickly settle the material needed for onboarding. I need to liaise with people. I just want to be done with it quickly. I need to tweak these introductory slides—I had a good idea of what I needed to add into them, but of course I didn’t note it down, so now I forgot. I also need to follow up with zakat. Actually, I’ve been texting people while writing this because, of course, I just remembered.

There are certain SKUs we have issues with while doing invoices, which reminds me I need to prepare material about different inventory-related terms. I’m so confused about how to prevent these SKU issues. I really hate it when issues are system-wise, but no proper systematic approach is done to prevent them. It’s simply: if you know, then you know. If you don’t, then problems.

Okay, let’s work on it.

Career Talk

May 4, 2026

I noticed a crack on my tablet today and almost let it get to me. Just as I was about to get annoyed, I remembered I have a tempered glass protector on—everything is fine. False alarm, folks. Today is still a good day.


We had a meeting between the pharmacists and headquarters today. I’m still a bit confused about what the official name for it is, but I know it’s intended to be a deep dive into sales planning, understanding the market, and improving our knowledge—covering both soft skills (like leadership and personality) and clinical expertise. This is only the second time we’ve held this session.


During the meeting, the topic of journaling came up. When I asked what I should actually write about, a new staff member from HQ explained her own process. It was nice to see someone share their perspective. Another person mentioned that journaling is about seeing the changes we’ve gone through in retrospect. Regardless, I’ve bought a new book for journaling and I plan to write every random thought inside it. Wish me luck!



Apart from that, I want to deep dive today into a topic from a book I’m reading called Tentang Pilihan. I was originally more interested in the author than the subject itself, but the concepts inside are very educational.


I want to try an exercise from the book where I tabulate my interests, skillsets, and related career paths. I couldn't quite think deeply enough on my own, so I prompted Gemini to help me discuss it in detail.


Here is how it looks:

CategoryYour Attributes
PassionsTabulating data, creating spreadsheets, administrative organization, and structured training/teaching.
Skillset (Kelebihan)Corporate-level document design, inventory strategy, supplier relationship management, and high-impact sales training.
Working StyleStern, straightforward, and efficiency-driven. You prefer high-impact "behind-the-scenes" influence over constant face-to-face retail interaction.
The "Sweet Spot"You aren't just a pharmacist; you are a Pharmacy Operations Strategist.

AI always has a way to butter up a person because this sound too cool. But we'll take it! Then, I asked for suggestions on different career paths:


 The Clinical Education Path

  1. Clinical Training Manager (Corporate HQ)
  2. Medical Science Liaison (MSL)
  3. Technical / Product Trainer

The Operations & Systems Path (The Architect)

  1. Pharmacy Operations Excellence Manager
  2. Procurement & Category Manager
  3. Quality Assurance (QA) / Regulatory Affairs Manager

The Hybrid / Leadership Path

  1. Medical Education Lead (Pharma MNC)
  2. Clinical Operations Lead (Health-Tech Startups)

 

I was wondering if this skillset—which feels like a newfound discovery—means I need to change my career. Looking back, I’ve always realized I had these predilections, but I initially dismissed them as just general "life skills" I happened to be good at. I have a natural knack for understanding systems, mastering SOPs, and creating the kind of corporate-level work that isn't typically taught in a retail setting.


It’s a far cry from why I originally chose retail pharmacy; back then, I didn't want to stay behind a desk and I loved the idea of constantly interacting with new people. But after years in the field, I’ve honed these analytical skills to fit the retail environment perfectly. At this point, I’ve realized I don’t actually mind moving away from constant customer interaction. While I still enjoy it, I prefer it not to be my sole purpose. I’ve found that I actually serve customers better when it's something I do "on the side" rather than my primary focus.


The next thing I need to focus on is building my portfolio around this direction. However, I realize it’s difficult to secure these positions because they are limited in number and usually require building from the bottom up within the same company.


Lastly, I know I would lose my passion if the company culture didn't align with my values. Which is precisely where most of the positions is available at. I’m not saying I’m letting race create a bias, but working in a Bumiputera-led environment aligns well with my spiritual needs, which ultimately helps me enjoy my work better.




For my own satisfaction—and to ensure I’m ready if the right door opens—I’ve decided to make the most of my current role at the startup. Startups are the perfect place to experiment, so I’m going to take every chance I get to build a solid portfolio. Gemini actually framed a sound strategy for this, and I’m going to start tracking these pillars:


Building the "Strategist" Portfolio

  1. The "Killer" Materials: I’m going to start keeping copies of every training slide and manual I draft. These aren't just work tasks; they are my "design portfolio" that proves I can communicate complex ideas and structure information effectively.
  2. The Data Wins: I need to start writing down the exact impact of my supplier and inventory decisions. Instead of just "managing" things, I want to show results—like how I created a procurement system that unified 5+ outlets and helped us hit sales targets for the first time.
  3. The "Deep Dive" Success: I’ll use my specific clinical modules, like the kidney toxicity training, as case studies. It’s a perfect example of how I can translate high-level science into actionable knowledge that the staff can actually use.

Wow. This took a lot of my time today. We'll stop for now. 

Getting Excited.

Apr 27, 2026

I usually write on my tablet with a wireless keyboard, but it broke recently. At first I thought it just needed charging, so I kept putting off updating my blog for a few days—only to realize it was actually broken. I bought a new one, but somehow I still didn’t get around to writing.

Anyway, my last post was about feeling tired. That was on the 1st of April, and now the month is already ending. Not much happened, which feels like a shame—there’s no way a whole month should just pass by like that. That’s exactly why I wanted to start blogging and journaling in the first place.

I did go on a short three-day trip to Kuching with my in-laws and my husband’s sister’s family—nine of us in total. It was a simple trip, but we managed to do quite a lot. It’s been two weeks since then, and even though I had a proper break, I still feel so tired. On top of that, my shoulder has been sore, and I’ve been dealing with a nagging toothache that probably needs a root canal.




I really need to get back to the gym and be more disciplined about brushing my teeth before bed. Why do such small things feel so exhausting? Between trips, meet-ups, and low moods at work, I’ve also been overeating—especially snacks. Regular meals just feel bland lately, and I don’t have much appetite for them. It’s confusing, honestly, because I’m not even losing weight.

On a happier note, my friend is getting married this Saturday, and I’m really excited. After that, I’ll head back to Manjung for a night. I can’t even remember the last time I went home since my siblings usually come over or we travel together instead. I’m thinking of bringing the kids to visit my parents’ grave.

One of my staff is leaving earlier than expected. Honestly, I’m taking it as a blessing. Having a difficult teammate is draining. The rest of the team has called him out—sometimes directly, sometimes sarcastically—but he just doesn’t seem to care. At some point, it’s almost impressive.

I think this constant tiredness is making it harder for me to feel excited about things, or maybe even to be excited at all. Everything just feels a bit heavier and gloomier. So I’m trying to focus on the good.

I met up with my friends the week before Kuching—Alhamdulillah we’re still able to make time for each other. I also finally started planning a reunion with my degree friends. It’s been about nine or ten years since we graduated, which feels unreal. I really hope it comes together.

My husband bought me a simple ring with his initial, and for some reason, it made me happier than the expensive handbag he got me. I always thought I preferred practical gifts, but this one made my heart giddy. It’s nice discovering this side of myself through him. And today, he made naan bread with chicken curry for dinner—it was so good.

Lately, kakak has been opening up to me more, sharing things that feel quite personal, even if she says them casually. I don’t know if she fully understands how meaningful that is, but I’m grateful. I don’t know if I’ll ever feel like a “good enough” mother figure, but I want her to know she can always count on me—that this is a safe space for her. It’s hard to explain that to a nine-year-old.

I also converted a series of lectures on akhlak into audio so I can listen while driving. I really enjoy learning about it in depth, but I struggle to sit down and focus at home. Listening in the car works better—even if I don’t catch everything, I can always replay it.

One day in mid-April, I went to IOI Putrajaya. I don’t usually enjoy malls, especially big ones, but having my husband drive helped. I mainly wanted to go to Nitori and Muji to get proper cleaning tools—I’ve had enough of the ones from Mr DIY and Shopee. I ended up spending around RM200 on brushes, a duster, and a mirror (the only non-cleaning item). Strangely, it felt so satisfying, and I actually enjoyed cleaning the toilet after. Even my younger self would have appreciated the quality.



I think I’ll stop here. My shoulder is starting to hurt from sitting and typing, and it’s so hot. Time to sleep—and yes, to brush my teeth first.

It doesn’t feel so bad now.

I'm So Tired

Apr 1, 2026

I am so tired. So, I started to get more tired by the third week of Ramadhan. They say it's because of the lack of sleep and the low sugar finally catching up and crashing on our body. I got more morning shift at the end of Ramadhan so I can go to surau for teraweeh which helps a lot to keep my spirit up. Then come Eid. We went to my husband hometown in Lenggong and it was so hot. It made me feels so demotivated to do much. Then, I had to work during third and fourth of Eid. Afterwards, I get to cuti some more to spend time with my side of the family. We went to Cameron Highlands. We planned it well so it wasn't too crowded but I did get my period while I was there so I still got so tired. Now I'm back at work and literally counting the hours to my next off days eventho I have noon shift but I didn't sleep in. I just don't feel like it even tho I still feels so so tired.


It feels like forever being so damn tired. I'm just so tired being tired 😩 😩 😩 😩



I think I needed a good massage to get my body just let loose. Somehow, it feels like it still clings to staying up and about when I should be letting loose and relax.


I realize that my body is so tune to be that way because I used to work for almost three years like that. Always on the go, on the edge. This new job is way more relaxed. However, I feel like since I have more free time, I owe this "freedom" for more behind the scene efforts like more data analysis, more training and stuff and just doing whatever possible to stay moving. I just don't know when to stop. Even tho my mental load is a whole lot lighter now, I still be creating new ones either to fill this freedom or just in the name of living "the" life - ie I have more time now, let's read a lot or do more creative things or cook more.


I got into this realisation when I want to design my work planner. I feel like my old planner is not doing it anymore. So I go through my thought process in doing work and try to come out with ways so that I can adjust accordingly to be more relaxed. I want to be more present at work too even if it means to bersembang saja instead of having multiple tabs in my brain thinking/planning and lost track of what's in front of me. I also finds that it hinders me to think more strategically too. 


So the mantra here is to live more relaxed but present. Doing things more intentionally. I know I'm able to do more of these now than I did before but I still didn't feel really connected to it. It just feels robotic instead of intentionally chosing this way so I'm living the kind if life that I want.


INTENTION.


I think this is what I lack the most. Need to start things with Nawaitu. A more intentional ones.

Mid Ramadhan - Napping Purposefully

Mar 5, 2026

First of all, I need to nap. I followed my impulse and get Nescafé for iftar yesterday and thus I was only asleep by 12am. I slept through until sahur but it was not a good night sleep. I had another coffee for sahur because I don't want to sleep after Subuh and hopefully after writing this, I'm able to get a good nap before getting ready to work. I've also have some chores to do after my nap just to get my body going instead of groggily just go to work. Talk about preparation!

I used to dread things kind of planning and simply having to do "life". I feel like it takes away from doing other "meaningful" things in life. Then, I slowly starts to shift my mind acknowledging that this is just life and I'm doing the best to make the most out of it. 

If the naps are necessary for me to function better at work to compensate for waking up early for sahur then be it. I have to accept that I worked in shifts and it's rare for me to come home when there's still sunlight so I need to adjust as needed. This is just how life is.



The most important thing is, whatever kind of life you're doing it is always the right thing as long as you put your heart at the right place. This is what I missed to see. It's not about how others work normal 9 to 5 will be able to live more righteously or having more money enable you to liaise some mundane chores so you have more free time - it's about doing and knows in your heart that it is just how life is that Allah has made it just so. Put your heart out for Him and do niat for Him and that itself will be more than meaningful. Probably in the future I'll be able to do more. Or probably one day I will so satisfied and feel enough just so to focus on it and become more content, at peace.

During my long drive to and back from work, I've been listening to lots of podcast. It really depends on my moods - it can be goofy, life tips and spiritual/religious. I found that podcast by Aida Azlin has been a really relatable Islamic day to day reflection as well as the one by PU Riz and Dato' Fadilah Kamsah in Buat Saja podcast. One of the clear message that sticks deep in my heart which really shifted my mindset and get me turning to it over and over again even in different podcasts is this Hadith Muslim 2999 -


Suhaib reported that Allah's Messenger (ﷺ) said:

Strange are the ways of a believer for there is good in every affair of his and this is not the case with anyone else except in the case of a believer for if he has an occasion to feel delight, he thanks (God), thus there is a good for him in it, and if he gets into trouble and shows resignation (and endures it patiently), there is a good for him in it.

I used to think it's about patience and being  strong at it too. Now I looked at it as a way to live in peace, more content. It is a bit more laid-back in a way than my initial impression that I need to be a strong willed Muslim to be able to practice it. It's the very concept of Ikigai but instead of just letting go, I'm putting the trust to the One who control everything - past, present, future and beyond comprehension. I believe that Allah knows I need to be in a certain stage of life to be able to comprehend this because I used to believe in the concept of Ikigai. It's true what Dato' Fadilah Kamsah saying that all these western/non Muslim self help book/concept is actually another way of representing how Muslims should do. 

So yeah, that is my whole thought process on me needing to nap. I have been consistently able to wake up early this Ramadhan for sahur even during my menses. I'm aiming to keep waking up early to get a 40 days streaks. Pray for me!


14th of Ramadhan - Being More Grateful

Mar 4, 2026

I was thinking that maybe I'm not supposed to put daily updates into this blog as my standard. Then I thought that if I don't do it then might not update at all. So, let's just stick to explaining why I didn't update for the past 7 days. Funnily, I need to refer to my work timetable to recall back what I did.

I had a half day shift yesterday to finish off a pending time off claim. I clocked out at 1pm and went to a shop to have my father's old kitab to be re-bind. Is re-bind the right word? Anyway, last Saturday, I spent the day doing work while listening to podcast with Madnor and one of his point hits me in which he says that we also need to fulfil our employee rights. By rights, working hours should wholly be dedicated to work. I'm not being too rigid but then I thought of some work stuff that I might need to do off works to compensate anything that involves me not being fully dedicated to work. So, yesterday, despite having a half day, I still attend our weekly meeting and be fully present even tho I was in my car. After the meeting ended, I went for a massage, cooked and later that night I finally went to our surau here and did terawih. Honestly speaking, it was the kids who pushed us. I made a small cup of coffee to share with my husband after iftar just to get a little boost of energy and it was totally worth it. 



During my day off on Sunday, we went out to buy baju raya for the kids and I went for iftar with my friends. On Monday, I was so sleepy and slept until 10ish. It was the first day that I started fasting after menses but I don't know why I was so sleepy since I still woke up early to prepare for sahur daily. After waking up, I did some chores and I went out with my husband around 2.30pm to do some more chores and buy groceries for iftar. I was still so tired that I slept right after Isyak.

Saturday was a full day shift. So I don't have time to write but then I realize I will also don't have time to write if I have morning shift like last Friday. I have a bad traffic coming home that I didn't have time to cook so I had to buy food from a random nasi lemak stall. Thank god it was good. I really only have time to write on days that I have noon shifts. I'm trying to write on my off days but it seems like there's always things to do, chores that is still pending and naps to catch lol.

Anyway, I just realized that these days of everything needs to be done are actually things that I need to be more grateful for. I'm trying to be more mindfully grateful and says alhamdulillah more especially when I know it's a habit of those who enters Jannah. Problem is, I keep on thinking that only good things deserve to be in the list but then feels to mundane to be grateful on things that I will always do. 

I'm grateful for having the time to cook food that I love and then feeds my family who is also fasting. Now I got more pahala yay!

I'm grateful that I got to meet my friends for iftar  and going to be having iftar with my siblings this weekend

I'm grateful that we are able to go out all the way to Subang and finds baju kurung that the kids actually love

I'm grateful that I am more focused at work and able to learn more through doing training sessions

I'm grateful that I'm able to do better self reflect at work and looking forward to be better at it through reading more and I'm grateful that I got to learn good suggestions of books to read to.


May our days always be filled with things to be grateful for. 



The Seventh Of Ramadhan

Feb 25, 2026

 I haven't been writing for almost 10 days and it is already the 7th of Ramadhan. I was busy for god knows what really. I can't really recall anything much. 

 I was somewhat busy with tidying around the house and looking after the kids since they have a long break due to CNY and 1st of Ramadhan. Since my husband are taking in more work, I try to do more chores around the house to accommodate him. 

I bought some craft supplies for the kids to spend time with. It was a good investment but they didn't do much when they started fasting. My 7 years old fasted for the first time for four days since it is still school break. On the first day of school both of them break their fast after morning school. Her older sister however cries badly after returning from evening school because she just realizes that now she can't have a one month streak of fasting. She only fasted for 5 days last year tho so me and my husband don't really expect much lol.

I fasted for four days and then had my period. So today is the third day I haven't been fasting. I had to cooked more for sahur since I want to make sure the kids eat. If it was only me and my husband, we ate either bread or oats. Having to wake up early, I got sleepy in the morning so I'll sleep if I have noon shift. The menstrual tiredness has came over me today that I'm still feeling a little bit out of it.

My siblings came last weekend. My brother who went out for tabligh work in for 3 months were coming back. So we had iftar together to celebrate him coming home. 

I am feeling a little hopeful this Ramadhan. I feel more positive somehow. I'm not able to do much really but I'm trying to be more mindful with whatever I can do. It helps to feel more into it this way. I'm so grateful to be able to be in this mindset.



However, I am so drowned in doing my training materials these days. It will be this way at least until June. I'm trying a new way of doing training for the company staff which allows me to learn a lot too. It's fun, but so demanding and took so much time to.

Anyway, I guess this is it for now. I hope I get a good rhythm in this training stuff and better Ramadhan ahead. Till next time!

Ramadhan and Still Not Feeling It

Feb 17, 2026

In two days, it will be Ramadhan. I talk about how I was feeling off during my PMS. To be honest, these off-ness has been awhile now and I'm not sure anymore if it is just PMS. But, coffee has always been my go to for a little bit of pickup, so I can't help but dreading that I can't drink coffee during Ramadhan. For the past two years or so, I have come to embrace just drinking coffee during sahur as well. I'll also make a light one during iftar. I honestly can handle thirstiness better than feeling all groggy and slow during the day. I try to do more physical kind of tasks too but it's not really much as my jobscope mainly needs me to be on the screen - planning, reporting, ordering, etc.



I haven't written in 5 days. On the first day, it was a full day shift. I remember feeling so tired and just not feeling energised after waking up from sleep for days after. I have a half day last Saturday and decided to bring the kids to work. They have a short one week break now for CNY and first of Ramadhan. Since I have the chance to do so, I took a half day and then it was my off days for the next Sunday and Monday. I wanted to spend more time with them but that means, I didn't have much time to write. 


My siblings came during Saturday night and stayed for a night. We went to this food court area nearby for dinner but sadly some of the foods that we have eaten twice before has downgraded in quality. I was disappointed because it is a really comfortable and fun food court place with lots of choices.


We went to a relative home on Sunday. We have makan-makan sessions with BBQ and kari kepala ikan. I also bought some marshmallows and cookies for the kids to make smores. Then, come Monday. I was adamant to go for a massage but I forgot that our go-to massage place was a chinese establishments. It was closed for CNY. I was so dissapointed and went back home and just sleep. I'll just go when they reopen.


Then, I brought the kids to the bookstore and we bought some arts and crafts supplies. They were having too much fun but then it's great that they don't just play on their iPad. My husband however can't stand seeing the mess. I just told the kids to play well so it doesn't really become messy. Now tell me why this man was bothering the kids to kemas everything because they have to go their grandparents home in two hours but then come into the bedroom to take a nap. 


I am so not feeling it to go working today. I'll make another coffee, sweeter this time. I'll focus to tend to the customer and order for this one supplier as well as contacting this new PIC of another branch to schedule appointment so we can review her invoice/payment documentations. For now, let's cook lunch, get ready for work, eats and go to work. 


Happy Ramadhan to all of us and may it be the most blessed of all.





Feeling Off

Feb 10, 2026

My PMS includes being in kind of a low mood. I always thought that I'm just more tired. Once I started dating my husband, having a space I can just be whatever, I realize that I was being more than just tired. I got more sensitive, more overthinking but then more hopeless too as at that same time , I just don't want to do anything. I'm just not on my best game. 

When you're working in sales, that just a really tiring state to be. You just don't want to do anything but then you can't be this way when entertaining a customer. I learned from Chatgpt that these switching, it also physically tiring to your body. I was confused why I just crashes after work at times and turns out this plays a role too. This will happen around a week. Then my period came.





I'll be looking more positively at life but this time, I am actually worn out tired. The bleeding and the cramps will take more toll on my body. Not to mention as I am actually just in a constant mode of overthinking mess, I'll try to compensate whatever I was "not" during my PMS. 

I was thinking that OCP might helps, they have these low dose ones meant to be more stable for you body, but then I always forgets them. Maybe I should try again as my periods has been funny too. It might not work. I'm just an avid overthinker in general. Just in different mode at times.

Maybe I am getting old. I remember how refreshing and high spirited I was in my twenties. Going to work with excitement and energy. But now, I woke up feeling tired. I need more deep sleep really. I slept quite well the past two nights but I had the weirdest dream. I can't remember them now except how weird it was.

How can I went for exercise if I don't have the energy to do so or was it really in my mind only? 

Oh ya, I need to reason out on days that I don't write. 

On 6th - because I have a full day shift

On 7th - it was my off day and we spent the entire morning outside and then do movies/chores in the evening. I just don't feel like pulling put my keyboard to write afterwards since I want to sleep early.

On 8th - I have a noon shift and I should write before going to work. In between Netflix and sleepiness and cooking lunch, I thought I have the time but I misjudged. I was thinking to do a quick writing during break at work but I went into work with multiple issues to be settled right on that time so with all that mess, I just want to chill during my break.

Do I Have ADHD?

Feb 5, 2026

For some reasons, my social media been advertising about ADHD. I can't remember what kind of advertisement that I came across yesterday but the catchphrase was something along believing that I can get ready to work in 7 minutes. I can't get ready in 7 minutes, but I do have this thing where I just do other things or just chill until the very last minute to get ready. Like for example, the commonest thing that I'd do, is just like now. Now, it is 11.25am, I should be in the car by 12.30pm. 


But have I showered? No. Do I planned to cook for lunch? Yes. Did I just start a show in Netflix and writing in this blog at the same time? Yes. The show is on hold, I just realized I can't do both at the same time. Shocker.


I think I need to get on that ADHD stuff. I might not actually have it, but whatever tips and tricks to get through life with ADHD probably would somehow works on me.


Besides that, let's review my plan to write everyday. This is decided end of January 2026. Today it the 4th of February. I have successfully written twice. It's ok. I think I just need to commit as it is but I'm putting a new rule. Whenever I missed any day, I need to reason it out.


For the pass two days, I was so out of it. I'm not sure why. This is why I've been pondering about the ADHD stuff. I was out of it at work too. I think one of the main reason is that I was feeling hopeless due to some important stocks that I don't have combine with the pressure of doing online training video. I was not in my game. I feel like I was doing all kinds of things but then nothing really was done. I've been doing this daily work planner which helped a lot to make me stays sane. It's just that there's hiccups here and there and it postponed things which means I need to do other things to compensate the postponed things. Just the usually retail chaos. I really don't like the feeling of those controlling me instead of me controlling them. I have few reflections though, to prevent this from happening again.


First, I need to detail my to do list. ALWAYS GET THING WRITTEN INTO YOUR PLANNER PLEASE AFIFAH. Secondly, I need a new documentation ways to records ideas/compensatory mechanisms I have done so instead of being a rescue mission, I prevent from needing rescue at the first place. Thirdly, I need to do a list of tasks I can ask my staff to do, I feel like I need to really utilize them. Lastly, I need to exercise, I've been putting gym on hold now my knees hurts again. I did a YouTube workout this morning and I'm feeling great now. 


That's it for today. I'm going to cook the chicken and brings bekal to work. Also, I need to finish the chili that I have been frozen for the longest time.

Weekend Well Spent

Feb 2, 2026

I didn't manage to write yesterday because I was out all day. We went out for a late breakfast. I took my time to get ready. It was just the two of us because the kids were at the grandparent's house (on their mother side). My husband has started this new work/business/venture, I'm not sure what to call it really, but he has been so busy. He was more laid-back at back at his previous job, so we're not spending much time together. We were spending more time together before because his previous job with his uncle is more laid-back so he can adjust his time to match with my shifts.

After days of exasperatingly whining that I didn't get enough attention, I made him went out for breakfast at this cute cafe near our apartment. Then we went to a foot spa to finally has his cracked feet callous taken care of while I did foot massage. Afterwards, we went to this new shop lot area as they just got funding and wanted to open a new branch. I just stayed in the car while I saw them talking and pointing to things around the shop lot and at some point, he was showing off his brand new polished heel. 

We then went to his uncle house. His side of the family were gathering together for a small potluck feast with BBQ chicken and my personal favourite, kerabu pucuk paku with perut made by his opah. I ate a lot. Then we did Yasin before saying our goodbye. By the time we reached back to our town, it was already late evening. 

I sneak out some time to video call Muaz, my 8 years old brother. I told him I miss him and ask him about chess pieces, his new obsession. My sister is giving him a chess set and it has been so funny because all of us didn't really play chess. Turns out my husband plays a little so probably Muaz can play with him on his new chess set. Then, we did our groceries before finally going back home. 

It was just turns to Maghrib when we reached home. I cooked sambal for dinner because my husband was surprisingly hungry. Turns out, he didn't each much during lunch because there were no sambal. It was his favourite, I noticed that my MIL will always cooks it for him but this time, my MIL cooks sayur only. 



By the time we had dinner, it was already 9-ish. We chill around watching some anime. I don't even know what I was watching. It was my husband show. I did ask random questions throughout. It has been a routine somehow for me to join watching his anime and ask questions as if I'm going to watch more. All and all, it was a fullfiling day with good food and good companions. 

Today is still my day off. There is a new staff coming in today. I hope she'll be a good and long term fixture to the team. Also, I hope I'm diligent enough to iron the kids school uniform today 😏

Writing to Rest

Jan 31, 2026

So I had this notion where I'll write more during my last post and ended up not writing for almost two years. TWO YEARS. Omg, how time passes. 

This time, I'm publishing this post under Blogspot domain. I think it's not relevant anymore for me to pay NetKL from the .com domain. I guess I was thinking to get like a traction or something but I decided I'll just write whatever. 

Some quick recap of changes in this two years.



I met a guy and I fall in love. Got married. He got two kids so now I'm a mother as well. We all have lived together for almost a year now. He makes me feel so comfortable so I feel like it's just like this peaceful living. The kids and me, has also learned that I'm not the typical female figure in their life who just pampers them. I guess it's a really steep and big learning curve for the three of us - me, the instant mother and them, the kids from a divorced parent. We're meeting halfway and it has been endearing to really, really, know them.

I'm not working in those big chain pharmacy anymore. I've quit one and moved to Selangor, and then starts at another big chain pharmacy for like two months and quits again. Now, I'm working at small pharmacy in a sub urban almost kampung area. 

One big thing I realize is that my nervous system has calmed greatly. No more constant feeling that I need to do something or worry about something. I'm going to write about this in depth. 

One of the key reason I'm writing again is I think to regulate myself. I've been going bouts in Chatgpt and I realized that I didn't really allow myself to rest. Now that I'm in an environment of not having to watch out my back all the time worrying something wrong is about to happen or forgetting to do that one little thing, I have time and space to just be. I've been going about things to do and I realized that I need to get grounded but to still feel like I'm still doing things. These things also has to be something that is "easy" for my mind. One easy yet rather funny thing that I found helps is to watch this Rosia Maio videos at YouTube. It's just so calming to see her live such a life with ease. But this doesn't feel like I'm accomplishing something instead of learning about Italian culture. So I dig deep withing myself (lol), and realized, I should just start writing. Journaling things. 

This is such a great idea because ;

1. I'll be writing, in the zone, focused, not putting my mind in constant mode of need to be productive.

2. I'll be journaling, this is a habit I have been wanting to cultivate for the longest time.


Ok, hopefully, I'll write again tomorrow. Allahumma Amin.




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