Mid Ramadhan - Napping Purposefully

Mid Ramadhan - Napping Purposefully

Mar 5, 2026

First of all, I need to nap. I followed my impulse and get Nescafé for iftar yesterday and thus I was only asleep by 12am. I slept through until sahur but it was not a good night sleep. I had another coffee for sahur because I don't want to sleep after Subuh and hopefully after writing this, I'm able to get a good nap before getting ready to work. I've also have some chores to do after my nap just to get my body going instead of groggily just go to work. Talk about preparation!

I used to dread things kind of planning and simply having to do "life". I feel like it takes away from doing other "meaningful" things in life. Then, I slowly starts to shift my mind acknowledging that this is just life and I'm doing the best to make the most out of it. 

If the naps are necessary for me to function better at work to compensate for waking up early for sahur then be it. I have to accept that I worked in shifts and it's rare for me to come home when there's still sunlight so I need to adjust as needed. This is just how life is.

The most important thing is, whatever kind of life you're doing it is always the right thing as long as you put your heart at the right place. This is what I missed to see. It's not about how others work normal 9 to 5 will be able to live more righteously or having more money enable you to liaise some mundane chores so you have more free time - it's about doing and knows in your heart that it is just how life is that Allah has made it just so. Put your heart out for Him and do niat for Him and that itself will be more than meaningful. Probably in the future I'll be able to do more. Or probably one day I will so satisfied and feel enough just so to focus on it and become more content, at peace.

During my long drive to and back from work, I've been listening to lots of podcast. It really depends on my moods - it can be goofy, life tips and spiritual/religious. I found that podcast by Aida Azlin has been a really relatable Islamic day to day reflection as well as the one by PU Riz and Dato' Fadilah Kamsah in Buat Saja podcast. One of the clear message that sticks deep in my heart which really shifted my mindset and get me turning to it over and over again even in different podcasts is this Hadith Muslim 2999 -

Suhaib reported that Allah's Messenger (ﷺ) said:

Strange are the ways of a believer for there is good in every affair of his and this is not the case with anyone else except in the case of a believer for if he has an occasion to feel delight, he thanks (God), thus there is a good for him in it, and if he gets into trouble and shows resignation (and endures it patiently), there is a good for him in it.

I used to think it's about patience and being  strong at it too. Now I looked at it as a way to live in peace, more content. It is a bit more laid-back in a way than my initial impression that I need to be a strong willed Muslim to be able to practice it. It's the very concept of Ikigai but instead of just letting go, I'm putting the trust to the One who control everything - past, present, future and beyond comprehension. I believe that Allah knows I need to be in a certain stage of life to be able to comprehend this because I used to believe in the concept of Ikigai. It's true what Dato' Fadilah Kamsah saying that all these western/non Muslim self help book/concept is actually another way of representing how Muslims should do. 

So yeah, that is my whole thought process on me needing to nap. I have been consistently able to wake up early this Ramadhan for sahur even during my menses. I'm aiming to keep waking up early to get a 40 days streaks. Pray for me!

14th of Ramadhan - Being More Grateful

14th of Ramadhan - Being More Grateful

Mar 4, 2026

I was thinking that maybe I'm not supposed to put daily updates into this blog as my standard. Then I thought that if I don't do it then might not update at all. So, let's just stick to explaining why I didn't update for the past 7 days. Funnily, I need to refer to my work timetable to recall back what I did.

I had a half day shift yesterday to finish off a pending time off claim. I clocked out at 1pm and went to a shop to have my father's old kitab to be re-bind. Is re-bind the right word? Anyway, last Saturday, I spent the day doing work while listening to podcast with Madnor and one of his point hits me in which he says that we also need to fulfil our employee rights. By rights, working hours should wholly be dedicated to work. I'm not being too rigid but then I thought of some work stuff that I might need to do off works to compensate anything that involves me not being fully dedicated to work. So, yesterday, despite having a half day, I still attend our weekly meeting and be fully present even tho I was in my car. After the meeting ended, I went for a massage, cooked and later that night I finally went to our surau here and did terawih. Honestly speaking, it was the kids who pushed us. I made a small cup of coffee to share with my husband after iftar just to get a little boost of energy and it was totally worth it. 

During my day off on Sunday, we went out to buy baju raya for the kids and I went for iftar with my friends. On Monday, I was so sleepy and slept until 10ish. It was the first day that I started fasting after menses but I don't know why I was so sleepy since I still woke up early to prepare for sahur daily. After waking up, I did some chores and I went out with my husband around 2.30pm to do some more chores and buy groceries for iftar. I was still so tired that I slept right after Isyak.

Saturday was a full day shift. So I don't have time to write but then I realize I will also don't have time to write if I have morning shift like last Friday. I have a bad traffic coming home that I didn't have time to cook so I had to buy food from a random nasi lemak stall. Thank god it was good. I really only have time to write on days that I have noon shifts. I'm trying to write on my off days but it seems like there's always things to do, chores that is still pending and naps to catch lol.

Anyway, I just realized that these days of everything needs to be done are actually things that I need to be more grateful for. I'm trying to be more mindfully grateful and says alhamdulillah more especially when I know it's a habit of those who enters Jannah. Problem is, I keep on thinking that only good things deserve to be in the list but then feels to mundane to be grateful on things that I will always do. 

I'm grateful for having the time to cook food that I love and then feeds my family who is also fasting. Now I got more pahala yay!

I'm grateful that I got to meet my friends for iftar  and going to be having iftar with my siblings this weekend

I'm grateful that we are able to go out all the way to Subang and finds baju kurung that the kids actually love

I'm grateful that I am more focused at work and able to learn more through doing training sessions

I'm grateful that I'm able to do better self reflect at work and looking forward to be better at it through reading more and I'm grateful that I got to learn good suggestions of books to read to.

May our days always be filled with things to be grateful for. 

The Seventh Of Ramadhan

The Seventh Of Ramadhan

Feb 25, 2026

 I haven't been writing for almost 10 days and it is already the 7th of Ramadhan. I was busy for god knows what really. I can't really recall anything much. 

 I was somewhat busy with tidying around the house and looking after the kids since they have a long break due to CNY and 1st of Ramadhan. Since my husband are taking in more work, I try to do more chores around the house to accommodate him. 

I bought some craft supplies for the kids to spend time with. It was a good investment but they didn't do much when they started fasting. My 7 years old fasted for the first time for four days since it is still school break. On the first day of school both of them break their fast after morning school. Her older sister however cries badly after returning from evening school because she just realizes that now she can't have a one month streak of fasting. She only fasted for 5 days last year tho so me and my husband don't really expect much lol.

I fasted for four days and then had my period. So today is the third day I haven't been fasting. I had to cooked more for sahur since I want to make sure the kids eat. If it was only me and my husband, we ate either bread or oats. Having to wake up early, I got sleepy in the morning so I'll sleep if I have noon shift. The menstrual tiredness has came over me today that I'm still feeling a little bit out of it.

My siblings came last weekend. My brother who went out for tabligh work in for 3 months were coming back. So we had iftar together to celebrate him coming home. 

I am feeling a little hopeful this Ramadhan. I feel more positive somehow. I'm not able to do much really but I'm trying to be more mindful with whatever I can do. It helps to feel more into it this way. I'm so grateful to be able to be in this mindset.

However, I am so drowned in doing my training materials these days. It will be this way at least until June. I'm trying a new way of doing training for the company staff which allows me to learn a lot too. It's fun, but so demanding and took so much time to.

Anyway, I guess this is it for now. I hope I get a good rhythm in this training stuff and better Ramadhan ahead. Till next time!

Ramadhan and Still Not Feeling It

Ramadhan and Still Not Feeling It

Feb 17, 2026

In two days, it will be Ramadhan. I talk about how I was feeling off during my PMS. To be honest, these off-ness has been awhile now and I'm not sure anymore if it is just PMS. But, coffee has always been my go to for a little bit of pickup, so I can't help but dreading that I can't drink coffee during Ramadhan. For the past two years or so, I have come to embrace just drinking coffee during sahur as well. I'll also make a light one during iftar. I honestly can handle thirstiness better than feeling all groggy and slow during the day. I try to do more physical kind of tasks too but it's not really much as my jobscope mainly needs me to be on the screen - planning, reporting, ordering, etc.

I haven't written in 5 days. On the first day, it was a full day shift. I remember feeling so tired and just not feeling energised after waking up from sleep for days after. I have a half day last Saturday and decided to bring the kids to work. They have a short one week break now for CNY and first of Ramadhan. Since I have the chance to do so, I took a half day and then it was my off days for the next Sunday and Monday. I wanted to spend more time with them but that means, I didn't have much time to write. 

My siblings came during Saturday night and stayed for a night. We went to this food court area nearby for dinner but sadly some of the foods that we have eaten twice before has downgraded in quality. I was disappointed because it is a really comfortable and fun food court place with lots of choices.

We went to a relative home on Sunday. We have makan-makan sessions with BBQ and kari kepala ikan. I also bought some marshmallows and cookies for the kids to make smores. Then, come Monday. I was adamant to go for a massage but I forgot that our go-to massage place was a chinese establishments. It was closed for CNY. I was so dissapointed and went back home and just sleep. I'll just go when they reopen.

Then, I brought the kids to the bookstore and we bought some arts and crafts supplies. They were having too much fun but then it's great that they don't just play on their iPad. My husband however can't stand seeing the mess. I just told the kids to play well so it doesn't really become messy. Now tell me why this man was bothering the kids to kemas everything because they have to go their grandparents home in two hours but then come into the bedroom to take a nap. 

I am so not feeling it to go working today. I'll make another coffee, sweeter this time. I'll focus to tend to the customer and order for this one supplier as well as contacting this new PIC of another branch to schedule appointment so we can review her invoice/payment documentations. For now, let's cook lunch, get ready for work, eats and go to work. 

Happy Ramadhan to all of us and may it be the most blessed of all.

Feeling Off

Feeling Off

Feb 10, 2026

My PMS includes being in kind of a low mood. I always thought that I'm just more tired. Once I started dating my husband, having a space I can just be whatever, I realize that I was being more than just tired. I got more sensitive, more overthinking but then more hopeless too as at that same time , I just don't want to do anything. I'm just not on my best game. 

When you're working in sales, that just a really tiring state to be. You just don't want to do anything but then you can't be this way when entertaining a customer. I learned from Chatgpt that these switching, it also physically tiring to your body. I was confused why I just crashes after work at times and turns out this plays a role too. This will happen around a week. Then my period came.

I'll be looking more positively at life but this time, I am actually worn out tired. The bleeding and the cramps will take more toll on my body. Not to mention as I am actually just in a constant mode of overthinking mess, I'll try to compensate whatever I was "not" during my PMS. 

I was thinking that OCP might helps, they have these low dose ones meant to be more stable for you body, but then I always forgets them. Maybe I should try again as my periods has been funny too. It might not work. I'm just an avid overthinker in general. Just in different mode at times.

Maybe I am getting old. I remember how refreshing and high spirited I was in my twenties. Going to work with excitement and energy. But now, I woke up feeling tired. I need more deep sleep really. I slept quite well the past two nights but I had the weirdest dream. I can't remember them now except how weird it was.

How can I went for exercise if I don't have the energy to do so or was it really in my mind only? 

Oh ya, I need to reason out on days that I don't write. 

On 6th - because I have a full day shift

On 7th - it was my off day and we spent the entire morning outside and then do movies/chores in the evening. I just don't feel like pulling put my keyboard to write afterwards since I want to sleep early.

On 8th - I have a noon shift and I should write before going to work. In between Netflix and sleepiness and cooking lunch, I thought I have the time but I misjudged. I was thinking to do a quick writing during break at work but I went into work with multiple issues to be settled right on that time so with all that mess, I just want to chill during my break.

Do I Have ADHD?

Do I Have ADHD?

Feb 5, 2026

For some reasons, my social media been advertising about ADHD. I can't remember what kind of advertisement that I came across yesterday but the catchphrase was something along believing that I can get ready to work in 7 minutes. I can't get ready in 7 minutes, but I do have this thing where I just do other things or just chill until the very last minute to get ready. Like for example, the commonest thing that I'd do, is just like now. Now, it is 11.25am, I should be in the car by 12.30pm. 

But have I showered? No. Do I planned to cook for lunch? Yes. Did I just start a show in Netflix and writing in this blog at the same time? Yes. The show is on hold, I just realized I can't do both at the same time. Shocker.

I think I need to get on that ADHD stuff. I might not actually have it, but whatever tips and tricks to get through life with ADHD probably would somehow works on me.

Besides that, let's review my plan to write everyday. This is decided end of January 2026. Today it the 4th of February. I have successfully written twice. It's ok. I think I just need to commit as it is but I'm putting a new rule. Whenever I missed any day, I need to reason it out.

For the pass two days, I was so out of it. I'm not sure why. This is why I've been pondering about the ADHD stuff. I was out of it at work too. I think one of the main reason is that I was feeling hopeless due to some important stocks that I don't have combine with the pressure of doing online training video. I was not in my game. I feel like I was doing all kinds of things but then nothing really was done. I've been doing this daily work planner which helped a lot to make me stays sane. It's just that there's hiccups here and there and it postponed things which means I need to do other things to compensate the postponed things. Just the usually retail chaos. I really don't like the feeling of those controlling me instead of me controlling them. I have few reflections though, to prevent this from happening again.

First, I need to detail my to do list. ALWAYS GET THING WRITTEN INTO YOUR PLANNER PLEASE AFIFAH. Secondly, I need a new documentation ways to records ideas/compensatory mechanisms I have done so instead of being a rescue mission, I prevent from needing rescue at the first place. Thirdly, I need to do a list of tasks I can ask my staff to do, I feel like I need to really utilize them. Lastly, I need to exercise, I've been putting gym on hold now my knees hurts again. I did a YouTube workout this morning and I'm feeling great now. 

That's it for today. I'm going to cook the chicken and brings bekal to work. Also, I need to finish the chili that I have been frozen for the longest time.