Roll On: Tawakal and the wild.

June 23, 2016

Time is flying fast.

It is already the 18th Ramadhan folks and even though time supposedly to run slower during this tensed time (it's supposed to be slow when i am so tensed with exam but come on, it's Ramadhan!) I am still strucked that we have made it this far. Hugs and kisses!

This Ramadhan was very very different. I can not be lazying around since I'm having exam but sleep was still my biggest enemy. I sleep like nobody bussines! Of course I felt guilty and was trying hard not to. But i'm having new strategy now and hopefully the few days i'm fasting at home, meaning that i didn't need to face my notes and actually do something will help me off sleep. Or to actually sleep because I need it.

Also, it is different because I have awesome housemates to fast, sahur and iftar with. We went to the bazaar like almost everyday. Actually took early morning bus for morning exam. Went to Masjid Asy Syakirin together. Creating lots of memories. I've been meaning to dedicate a post on this. Some other days fellas~

Anywayyyyyy.

It is not easy I must say. I have always studying with sugar, caffeine and a good (at least) 6 hours sleep at night. But I freaking made it. ALHAMDULILLAH.

I have made it this far and it felt surreal. All of this was even possible because of Allah actually. It is important for you all to understand that I think this is the worst studying for exam I have ever done. Yet alhamdulillah I can still answer instead of staring at blankness.

Is it good though? I don't want to be so hopeful.

I learned this one concept about tawakal. If Istudy hard and can answer the questions or do well, I will put hope on success due to my effort. In other words, I put my tawakal on the effort I have given. Like I'll became more positive or optimist since I can answer after I gave effort. The same thing if it happen the other way around it, meaning if I think I don't do well, and start to think negatively.

It is wrong.

All hope are purely on Allah and we trust Him in everything. In anything for everything, we must trust Him. Even when we give a lot of effort and especially if we give less (but please don't do that as Allah give credits for effort). For good or bad result, if it is of His will and surely every decree of Him is the best for us. To tell the truth, it is LIBERATING.



I kinda like this word now. LIBERATING. Especially being able to relate it better.

I might be ending this journey of student life. InsyaAllah. I read somewhere about a character being so well put through out his harsh life and end up having a panic attack when he actually realize he is graduating like tomorrow.

It is scary not knowing where to go.

I tried to do some stuffs this years in the spirit of "last sprint". It has been a good drive and I am quite contented. It's like if I finally do this, I can face the future a bit better.

Though, fairly speaking, nothing can prepare us for the wilderness of the unknown future.

Pray for us. Like now. We still have Ramadhan on our sides.

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