Roll On : Tranquility in nature.

Roll On : Tranquility in nature.

Feb 7, 2014

Assalammualaikum. 

i'm so in love with my new blog themes. it looks cool right? simple and clean, just the way i like it! i also put on new part on my sidebar telling latest movie i got my hands on. not really the latest  one though. and i put the actor's picture. the one that i like of course. 

^^v

so, i want to talk about tranquility. this morning, we went out fishing. me, walid, angah and nadia. we didn't use fishing rods though. instead we use techniques somewhat like squid jigging but with only one fishhook. 

The nature was exquisite and calming. it was 7.30 am when we were out in the sea and the fog was just misteriously beautiful and then this one little thought came crossed into my mind.

How is it Allah swt creates us to find a peace of mind in the nature but yet making it such a valuable resources that with greed will cause it to be into extinct. This peace of mind is the one thing that human really looking for.

i love nature so much yet help so little to maintain it. being out fishing, just the sea breeze, and the wave, was so calming. that is why walid love it so much. he would went out into the sea and sleep first before starts fishing!

i realize that this is how Allah wanted to test us. He makes us wanting the wealth from the nature yet making us depends on it for life. 

Is it about making the right choice?
Is it about to create a better life?
Is it about greed?
Is it about self control?
Is it about adjusting the right balance? 
Is it about responsibilities to the nature?

 human we think to short sometimes. we can't see the bigger picture. that is the main problem. we keep telling ourselves that only one person who changed wouldnt be enough and it is a waste as everybody else is doing it.

but actually, that is the beauty of Islam. Allah swt wouldn't careless about how much changes you can bring. It's about how YOU would change for the better.

awesome right?

Roll On : scribble

Roll On : scribble

Jan 25, 2014

what if i told you something you always wanted to hear.

that would ease you forever and ever more

what if i told you something you always wanted to hear.

that would make you feel just too good to be true.

how tempting. tempted?

you will be looking,

looking all over.

for things. and stuffs.

that is just how we roll this life.

the question now.

just how to rock it??

this is a journey.

the treasure map is the choices we make.

the wind blows the sail.

accordingly.

to our hopes and dreams.

faith and trust.

stupidity and some more stupidity.

we claims things and stuffs.

accordingly.

limited to our knowledge. experience.

so.

claim it all! all that you know! all that you want!

Realization. The Harsh Truth.

Realization. The Harsh Truth.

Dec 31, 2013

 this post here. is a messed up one. started with a confusion. and slightly to a conclusion. 

"Allah, i am very sorry. i am too ignorance"

i pray to Allah. please let me be able to study better so that i can score 4flat for my exam. so with it, i could be a better pharmacist for my community. i pray that this is my jihad. my ibadah. and hope that Allah will accept that.

but, during this study week, i feel like i have lost the motivation to study.

i didn't push myself to reach as much as possible in one day

when stuff get complicated, i can't find myself to take effort to indulge into textbooks.

i reads manga and play game too much.

i wake up so late cause i couldn't sleep early.

and the worst thing is, i got so much that i didn't covered yet but i feel NOTHING.

yet i keep on praying like that. it kills me when day by day, i am still like this. and then i started to wondering. why Allah give me this?

when i pray Asar today, as usual, after solat, i will do my "doa". but this, it's quite special since i just watch this video by ustaz nouman ali khan on his tadabbur al baqarah sentence 186.

watching it, i try to be focus and to realize that Allah is actually there listening to my petty doa. 

suddenly, it struck me hard. it struck so damn hard when i realize that, what i'm praying for, my doa, is a selfish doa. my doa it solely for the better of me. for my future life. though i am convincing myself NO, it is an ibadah for Allah. yes, my intention is that my study will be my ibadah. but, i realize that i am making excuse for myself. i thought that i can skip on doing all those ibadah sunat since well, this is also ibadah. i'm doing all the wajib one's and thought that that was enough as i get my study to back me up. but i was wrong.

ibadah is something that you can't expect anything from it worldly. it was only between you and Allah. it can't benefit you in any way possible except that it will raise your status *insyaAllah* before Allah. that what makes it so hard to have your whole mind into it (kusyuk). we are doing things that benefit us in the way that we know but we can't see or even imagine about it. we, human, are so hard to be stisfied with things that we can't reach. we can't "feel" how actually our ibadah would do us so much in the life hereafter. a life of eternity. well, at least i am. not saying everyone are the same. feeling such, i feel this emptiness in my ibadah. i simply done as it is compulsory. 

very little iman of me, yet i ask for such excellence in life. i only eligible to ask for His forgiveness to all my sins. but, Allah was so great. We know all His sifat and 99 names of Allah BUT the real meaning of it was beyond our imagination. when we say Allah is Very Forgiving, the forgiving of Him would never be anything to be compare with all sort of forgiveness in this world all combine together. This is one of the many reason Allah is one and only God that we HAVE to worship.

which i have failed greatly. i wanted my study to become an ibadah yet i ask for blindly asked for my study to benefit my future life. how is it Allah gonna accept it as an ibadah? i rarely do ibadat sunat taking that i am too occupied or too tired with my study. though this, doing ibadah sunat would really test my faith for Allah. doing ibadat sunat, thing that would greatly benefit us, with all sort of rewards, yet we can see it. and to make it harder, since it need to be done with your free will. this is the proof how little iman i have. 

this is WAR. the real war that I need to fight. i can't be fighting for my brothers and sisters who have their life being taken simply because the believe that the TRUTH is Allah is the only God exist. i can't YET fight in that war before i win this one.

and hopefully, by Allah merciness, that Allah accept our ibadah and then He will give lots of thing for us to enjoy even in this fragile. But, at that time, maybe everything would be a wonderful thing to us. We will enjoy everything that Allah give. the good one, or the bad one. we have so much iman, that we trust Allah so much, that we know that Allah give us only the best. if only we know how to take it. no more emptiness except this urge to do more ibadah. we careless about others except how to get Allah to be pleased with.

 

Roll On : Fun Stuff bout My Header

Roll On : Fun Stuff bout My Header

Dec 23, 2013

that picture header of mine,

1. was taken inside Sungei Wang Plaza. never go there anymore. too expensive and boring too.
2. the watch i wore have gone. now got Superman logo on it.
3. the blue orange phone case was changed. new one way cooler.
4. i never wore that purple tudung anymore since i got new one. better one.
5. the balalaca bag, got shoes that i just bought that day. and i just know yesterday that the shoes have terkopak. due to my sister extensively wearing it to her class.
6. i even changed my spectacles. and it cost me only RM88. must be the cheapest i have ever bought.
7. the shoes that i wore that day also have terkopak. haha. why all my shoes ended up like that. but better lah since it is a very good excuse to throw it. :P

#moral of the story, time passes and lot of thing changed. though simple stuff like dis. and time passes so fast and a friend of mine told that it is actually sign of The Judgement day is nearing. i never knew it though. hmm. how prepared are we? :(

Roll On : Rolling Rolling

Roll On : Rolling Rolling

gahhh.

here some fun stuff.

i notice i get depressed regularly. and it is actually my very own PMS. knowing that ease me since i know that i'm not that pathetic of a person to be negative and stuff. huh!

the reinvent thing. it failed badly!! i readjust it by having to wake up earlier than usual (though got times still failed) and reward myself to sleep back (LOL)

the idea is, i need to pray Subuh earlier!! i'm going to reach that point where i quickly pray after Azan. Pray for me !!

furthermore, it is rather imposible for me to sleep early. the idea for me to get up early is to sleep early. but then i was too busy. sometimes, due to groupwork and meeting, i even only get to my room past 11. *excuses?

i try to read yasin daily, and also now try to read al-mulk before sleep. i hope i can make a habit out of these. the problem is, when i got my period, i become clueless of what to do. they say do zikir. but with iman like mine, it hard to get into it you know.

ok. i just thought of this. i need to read islamic books!! yup! got tonnes of it.  set 10 minutes for it at each solat prayer. >.<

bout the zikir thing, i think i'll go for the daily zikir. or tasbih fatimah. ermmm. it didnt much affect me, but it does make me feel better thinking that i succeded on doing it. though i know i only doing it cause Allay wanted me :)

my coursemates during mid sem exam @ first year

the reinvent thing, though it was very very good. but it is damn hard. i'm never be that dicipline people but i want to change to it. but, i need to sort out my life first. then, when i succed in this, becoming more dicipline, i'll do the reinvent thing.

my friend once say her daily goal was to be better than yesterday. i never really think hard about such word, not until when she said it and meant it. and then i realize, that is what i need to improve, to be better than yesterday.

leave yesterday stupid things we do, and change it today for a better things.

oh. yes. i'm in the middle of my study week. and i got no mood to study at all. i force myself though. and the result is a very slow pace study. even for topic that i have understand and i simple need to read it back.

haha, but i'm improving from yesterday though. well. a little.

p/s : i'm hungry, but it is already 11pm. to eat or not to eat?

Roll on : Stop Doing That !!

Roll on : Stop Doing That !!

Nov 8, 2013

Assalammualaikum and good morning!

you know something, i used to be crazily blogging. do blogwalking here and there. chit chat over the FB with other bloggers. always make renovation on my blog. and stuff.

that is when i just joined blogging. it was after SPM and i got lots of spare time. and then get muself a work and this blog things start to become hard to commit too. after that, comes matriculation times where i rarely do any post . seeing i actually got 3++ followers (during my rajin time i always joined contest to popularize my blog) was actually hard to accept since my blog are full of nothing but my crappy thought. now, this blog seem like "hidup segan, mati tak mahu"

so, now i am quite back to blog. am i ? haha, this is quit tricky. i'm in my mid sem break so i got some spare time. God knows that i would be super busy when i start my study back.

but, i love to blog during time. it sort of, releasing my tense. very cool way to improve my writing also. though i always failed to recheck before posting and end up with lot of spelling error.

so, the "Stop Doing That !!" here might be would mean,  don't leave my blog unattend.

OK NOW. THE REAL DEAL.

this list is to remind me some annoying habits of mine that kind of held me back.

1. Procnastination. Need to do listing and start working from that list.
2. Last minute work. Kind of like the first point. 
3. Google thingsssssssssss. It is fun to know stuff, but it is too time consuming.
4. Leave all my new books just like that. I need to finish all of those.
5. Get tensed on your own. Got single room now. Quite lazy to go to my friends room. I think i need too so i can release my tense by talking and also would help my ukhwah
6. Think that i can do that or i'm not that good or i'm too shy or that is stupid. Cause it is NOT
7. Thinking too much. it really does burden me.
8. put my things all over the place. habis bersepah
9. eat too much junk food and sugar. and cold drinks. need to take care of my health.
10. only focus on certain class. that i'm interested only, need to focus on all and take notes!
11. start studying my lecture note too late. need to read it earlier so can do some clarification on things that i need to focus. can ask lecturer also.
12. making excuses. to others and to myself!
13. think bad about people. i need to have the way of think such that everyone is better than me. 
14. twisting other peoples mind. hehe. well, only on those that i do  purely for my benefit.
15. well, this list may go on and on

so, let us change and be istiqamah!

and nothing even feel more right that to do it Islam way!

 “In order to succeed, your desire for success should be greater than your fear of failure.” -Bill Cosby