Covid-19 Diary (Part 2)

Covid-19 Diary (Part 2)

Mar 30, 2020

Things get a bit trippy when the extension of MCO was announced. It got me good. I was highly anticipating it but it still shocked me when it was announced. The prospect that I needed to work during the week had also me feeling gloomier and just done for. 

It turns out good though. I feel better by day and I got to eat good food during the weekend. My colleague who rented a house near the hospital invited me to do this kek milo viral together and I ended coming both days just to eat. They made paratha with curry, nasi lemak which I have been craving for days and also roti puri. My housemates and I have also been so productive that we finally bought our own stove with tong gas (I googled tong gas in English and the best I found is gasholder which does not make any sense). My new housemate has been cooking ayam goreng kunyit with sambal sosej so we ended up sitting together eating decent home-cooked meals which was amazing.

News keep coming in. Now there are speculations and projections of data saying there will be a surge of cases in mid-April. The death toll has risen to 34 cases and it just really put things into perspective. The new  Bajet Prihatin funding announced is such a relief cause I've been thinking how bad B40 will be hit as MCO is extended. KKM has been doing so well that now the recovery cases have also risen up. I was so proud that WHO has chooses Malaysia in the research for Covid-19's medicine. What a tremendous acknowledgment!

On the other hand, Gardenia's are back on the shelves but it really moves out fast. Milk's popularity has somehow increased and I am now stuck with Dutch Lady ones. It wasn't as good as HL which is just sad. I bet it was all gone due to dalgona coffee craze. I can breathe well while wearing a mask and it caught me off guard when I first realized it that I ended up checking it multiple times just to make sure I was wearing it correctly. For the record, I always wear the mask correctly. The dispenser now needs to wear a whole-body plastic apron, face shield and also gloves so now we have different daily rosters that have a different dispenser in the morning and in the afternoon.

The daily needs for facemask still risked me for acnes. I started to use back my benzoyl peroxide cream but hydration is still the key for me to heal from any acne. I just bought a new Nutox's toner and essence plus Hada Labo hydrating cream. These have seemed to improve my skin as now it starts to glow healthily again. I guess the ceasing of the Nutox's essence is what made my skin dull. My skin has also become a bit drier than the usual so now I wore my Neutrogenana moisturizer which is heavier and a bit oilier at work. I usually wore this before sleep but since it will be a hassle to bring it back and forth from home to work, I just left it at work. I read somewhere that alternating your moisturizer (gel-based and cream-based) helps your skin to look glowy and it really does but I love doing this for how hydrating my skin feels. I exfoliate my skin last Thursday after not doing so for more than a month as I tried to minimize exfoliating my skin after my peeling treatment. It feels so supple afterward. I'm feeling much better as my skin got so rough up that past two weeks and now has improved well. Yay me.

Oh, by the way, I have been doing so many online shopping that the online thing stopping me is the possibility of judgments I'll get from my colleagues as all the stuffs were posted to the hospital #sorrynotsorry

I want to do a room makeover.

Covid-19 Diary (Part 1)

Covid-19 Diary (Part 1)

Mar 22, 2020

Warning - this post might sound a bit depressing.

Today is the fifth day since the Restriction of Movement Order (RMO) was invoked under the Prevention and Control of Infectious Diseases Act 1988 due to Covid-19. However, it is only my second day of actually staying at home since I worked in a hospital. I tried reading to pass the time but it made me sleepy. On a different note, my phone just slipped from my hand and now there is this major crack. To make things worse, there is only this one place that I trusted to repair it but it is all the way back at my hometown. Yay.

The world is becoming highly frustrating.

It seems like Italy's healthcare is overburdened. Donald Trump decided to help North Korea when Americans hardly get access for screening. We have now had over 1k of Covid-19 cases with nine dead and I think the South Africans somehow have a surge of lemon, garlic, and ginger shopping cause apparently, it can cure Covid-19. I made a point to keep the television on and there's these series of public service announcements for Covid-19 with the same background music which kinda stresses me out.

did you know that they lights up Eiffel Tower for about 10 minutes as a tribute for their healthcare worker. Idk, it kinda feels nice.

On the other hand, my housemate just discovered Plato (that interactive game, not the philosopher) but she told me it was called Palatao instead. We might be getting a new housemate who is about five or six years older and I am literally panicking since we'll be working together as well.

I worked in a small town. We have no reason to fear Covid-19 until the Tabligh's cluster. So now it's mask 24/7, constant hand hygiene and social distancing. We were lucky that everyone has been screened before coming to us. It doesn't stop us from being a wee bit paranoid as some of my colleagues kept their phones in plastic since wiping alcohol too many times may disrupt the screen sensitivity. 

*ohmygodmyphonecrackedsobad*

We notice a clear in traffic during the first day of RMO but there are some shops and even small stalls by the roads that still open. Later that day, there is this notice spread by our city council warning them and I notices the small stalls "disappear" the next day. Retail pharmacy around here still doesn't have any supply of masks and hand sanitizer. But that's okay since I just stayed home after work and there wasn't much crowd when I went grocery shopping last Thursday. Plus, it was grocery shopping for one so it doesn't take long.  I made it a point to shop on Thursday to avoid going out on the weekend but my housemate did and there wasn't much crowd as well.

Food wasn't really a problem since we always have this food delivery but now we sometimes ordered two pax for dinner as well. Breakfast is a bit tricky though since we usually bought some kuih from these small stalls by the road. But I think there is some new delivery for breakfast as well but it doesn't look really feasible for us yet the existence of a choice feels good. I might make some cucur to work tomorrow since I've been meaning to finish my flour.

I cooked ayam masak sambal and some fried cabbages yesterday which lasted until today's lunch. I used "Sambal Tumis" by Deli Mas which tasted exactly like a freshly made sambal. It was an amazing discovery cause I was scared it will taste like the ordinary cili giling which is so blerghhhh. The most annoying thing, however, it seems like my coffee tasted so off. I'm not sure why but it annoys me to no end. I've bought some ingredients for soup but I'm still undecided either to cook it as dinner today or as dinner for tomorrow. We'll see about it. I've bought some ingredients for soup but I'm still undecided either to cook it as dinner today or as dinner for tomorrow. We'll see about it.

I guess my main issue is how unsettling this situation is. It is a legit feeling but at the same time, I also feel so frustrated with some Malaysians attitude which made it worse. It seems like Malaysian failure to adhere to RMO until the military needed to be involved would probably mean the extension of RMO. I am all in for military cause I knew these ignorant Malaysians would never understand until they see the army. I bet they still don't understand but the fear they have for the army is enough, for now, I guess. Let's hope this will end my frustration at least. 

What's Been Going On Lately - Pharmacist Version

What's Been Going On Lately - Pharmacist Version

Mar 3, 2020

I wanted so badly to write but I don't want to be writing factual-ish stuff. I want to ramble. So here I am, rambling. I am going to talk about how my days have been and I wanted to slightly highlight my work just to remind myself that this is the major part of my life now.

In numbers, my life was rather simple. I'm a staff at outpatient which means the counter where you took your medicine. There are a whole lot of stuffs happening behind that counter. I worked 8 to 5 shift unless if I have an evening shift which means until 10pm. It's usually about once or twice per month. I'll usually have one weekend-shift per month and about one or two night-shift (10pm to 8am) on weekdays.  We are a small district hospital with only one specialist - a psychiatrist. We still have other clinics with a specialist but those specialists are visiting ones. We received around 150 to almost 300 patients per day (the higher ends being during clinic days). I took care of this service called Collect n Go (someplace called it Kad Temujanji) and some medicines supply. That's pretty much it.

WORK AND WORKMATES

Work has been mundane but I tried to do more things daily just to get the gear moving. We've been having insulin stock problems for weeks so now we got busy on counseling patients to use syringes instead since the only stock we manage to get our hands on were of a different brand from the insulin pen we're using. Complicated huh? Imagine needing to explain those. Apart from that, there this problem where my patience with these stuck-up MO's got really thin. I hardly got much respect for them anymore. I should really start to look for a new job before my contract ends though.

Most importantly, I am so grateful that I got some good friends here. It was fun. I didn't realize since when but I make this mental image that today's going to be a good day because I got to meet my friends. I could really be myself joking around and singing nonsense. I put on a good make-up look today and incessantly tell everyone I'm pretty and the annoyed looks are so worth it. We're going bowling tomorrow!

Not to forget my friends from PRP-ship as well. These are even better. These are the true warrior of the last-minute plan and an awful lot of good times. Sometimes I do feel weird that these bonds can simply be put into jeopardy once we got married. It was so silly isn't it?

READING AND POETRY

I couldn't find my IQ84 for the whole last week and it turns out I left it at home. Reading has been so slow since I'm determined to finish this damn thick fellow first. Plus, I've been putting it away because Murakami's work needs a whole lot of attention and being tired after work the whole day isn't really conducive. I find myself sometimes missing the serene calmness that came from reading the book. It was a good feeling thing to feel such wanton. #lol

I can hardly write any poetry too. I can't bring myself to focus on the whole process. I miss writing poetry so bad. 

ANIME, TV SERIES AND MOVIES

I tried to watch more award-winning movies. It's been a while. These movies are usually rather heavy and for the past year I have opted out "heavy movies" and choose to watch simpler ones. Action-packed and horror are my usual go-to. It seems that these deep and intriguing movies had won my attention once again and I managed to watch 1917, Jojo Rabbit and the so overdue Us. So good, highly recommended. 

I made myself marathoning Kimetsu No Yaiba. Turns out the story picks up once more characters were introduced which happened mid-season. Now I'm eager for a new season. There is this anime called "Fugou Keiji: Balance: UNLIMITED" which looks good. Not sure when I'm going to start watching it though. 

As for tv-series, I'm only watching Brooklyn 99 and only now got to the fourth season. The second season of Diableros and Chilling Adventure of Sabrina has been up. However, I only watched the first episode halfway through and just don't feel like committing. Altered Carbon still catches my attention but not having Joel Kinnaman as Takeshi Kovacs just brings a totally different dynamic. Anthony Mackie is good but it feels so different. The anger and the playfulness are different and thus a different Altered Carbon. I'm glad that we still have Poe.

SKIN CARE AND MAKE-UP

My  skin has been good to me. Although the need to always wear a mask has been a constant threat for jaw's acne but apart from that. I am quite good. Speaking of mask, please take a good care of yourself to make sure you don't get infected with COVID-19. The infected cases in Malaysia almost double in the span of three days! KKM is doing a good job at contact tracing. 

I mostly stayed with the basics these days - double cleansing, toner, moisturizer and serum. It has been a while since I wore a sheet mask. I tried to wear make-up more frequently which is mostly due to guilt that I have these stuffs but not wearing it. I tried to keep it simple to motivate me to be consistent. I love playing with eyeshadow! I still have two more sessions with Hannan Medispa. I wanted my skin turnover to be complete first so I'm planning to do my next session at least by the end of the month.

I think this is it. There some other random stuff I wanted to highlight but don't really belong anywhere.

1. I want to do a massage so badly but I want to buy so many things this month plus I just had the car serviced. 
2. I NEED TO DISCONTINUE MY CREDIT CARD. I only really need it to buy blog's theme at Etsy and to book a place at Airbnb. 
3. I love BTS's new album! ON is so good and I am so happy that it has a dance break as well. Everyone looks so good too.
4. I tried to shampoo and conditioned my hair more frequently now. I guess it won't hurt much since the products I use is so gentle and I'm getting better with hair care too. Let see what will happen.
5. My tudung bawal haven't been cooperating well these days and I just don't know why.

Last but not least -

January Recap and Nutox's First Impression Review

January Recap and Nutox's First Impression Review

Feb 17, 2020

it was supposed to be "Nutox's review" only but I got heavily sidetracked so if you are here for the review just skip until you saw the product's picture

I am not sure what is wrong with me but writing is so hard to come by. Was I busy? I hardly write anything on weekdays that for sure so let's recap what I did on the weekend

1st week of January - I went back home and we didn't do much but we did go to my father's friend's house for lunch. It was exciting because he is such a good cook and indeed the food was amazing!

2nd week of January - I went to see a friend at KL. It was also because I wanted to eat at Seoul Garden and I even managed to get this poetry book by Zack Shah. I did publish my previous post around this time too and told you guys how it was hard for me to focus.

3rd week of January - I got the whole week off and stayed home to do my peeling treatment at Hannan Medispa. I did, however, work the weekend shift. I knew about a job interview mid-week and had to go to Setia Alam the very next Monday for it. It was such a demanding week which is due to the stress of post peeling care, preparing for the interview, the hectic weekend shift due to COVID-19, the said interview and needing to work 8am to 10pm on the following Tuesday. I was so done for.

4th week of January - It was a three days weekend due to CNY and we went to thing amazing orang asli tourism spot at Lasah which is basically this spread of land with a basic pondok-like house (or you can put on a tent). It was made along this river that is so beautiful. It could be a great holiday except for the fact that we aren't well prepared. My dad was told about the place by his friend and he didn't fully grasp the idea that (1) it was so rural it hardly has any shop and hence access to food and (2) it was far into Felda Lasah like an extra one hour drive kind of far. We went again last week and made the best out of it. I might make a post about it in the future (future sounded so vague isn't it?)

it got three mattresses with blankets and pillows and that was it.

5th week of January / 1st week of February - My housemates were transferring to new places the very next week so it was lunch and dinner plans for one last time with gift shopping and more shifts to work. A friend of mine is marrying in the same week so more gift shopping and a chance to meet with my university friends.

LOL, I was supposed to review some products that I have been using which have been pending for months. I stayed in my rented house last week just so that I have some quiet me-time but ended up going out for lunch and karaoke on Friday and went for some sunset sightseeing and dinner at this ikan bakar place that has been forever in our to-do list on Saturday. Another ad-hoc plan and we went to "research" some community pharmacy as my newly hired friend wanted some ideas on how to do her stock shelving on Sunday. We tag along for the promised bangkok noodle and japanese fluffy pancakes.

Ok, just for some good measure, I'll do the said review. 

I am loving Nutox for the moment and considering using this brand more religiously. However, I have only used these for less than a month so for now, it is a "first impression-ish" review but still, I'm seeing such a promising result. I bought these during Guardian's and Watsons's sale earlier this year but the price stated is the normal price but I made it like in range as to how I usually saw the price.

Do note that I am focusing on moisturizing (in which the said product will usually have these "renewing" properties) and sebum control. Do note that most Nutox products focuses on moisturizing. I have oily skin but is currently well controlled provided I'm using the right skincare. So for me to like a product, it must be well absorbed or else my face will be oilier and it must be hydrating to further prevent excess oil production. I take hydration seriously. Having said these, I can assure you that these products work well for my oily skin. 

1. Nutox Renewing Treatment Essence (upper, left) (almost RM60) - I love this thing but I'm not exactly sure how it is improving my skin since I am only half-way through. It is so moisturizing. The slightly viscous liquid texture easily spread on my skin and made my skin feel supple after wearing it. I did have some acne a few days before and decided to lessen my benzoyl peroxide use and focus on cleansing and hydrating (with Neutrogena Hydroboost moisturizer and this essence) and to my surprise, it works! This essence also made my skin feels plump the next day and there was no oily feel as well. With that, I usually only clean my face during lunchtime to prevent overdoing my cleansing. I got a bit sunburnt during our trip to Lasah but after a week of these, it lessens the darkness well and just gave out a healthy glow.

2. Nutox Milk Cleanser (down, left) (around RM25) - I bought this for my sister and also for easy access to cleanser since I only kept Cetaphil at home. I'm an avid user of Cetaphil but Manjung was hotter and the air was thick with dust so I decided to keep a slightly stronger cleanser (or should I say a mild cleanser?). This milk cleanser is so foamy but wasn't harsh at all. It also doesn't feel soapy (?), it just lathers out lots of foam. It feels supple afterward that I didn't mind using it twice daily. The foamy cleansing experience is also a big bonus for me since I always love foamy cleanser but I have been restricting myself with Cetaphil due to how it always dries out my skin afterward.

3. Nutox Astringent Toner (right side, upper and lower)  (around RM25 to RM30) - I had opted out astringent toner for almost two years now. I always make sure my toner is a hydrating one (usually termed as lotion instead). But since I have oily skin, some measure of oil control is needed which is now by using Hannan Medispa Salicyclic Acid cleanser (mild) and this toner. I uses these two as needed but I think the toner wasn't really necessary. I should just use the cleanser only. This toner wasn't as viscous as Nutox Renewing Treatment Lotion hence it didn't moisturize as much. It doesn't dry out my skin which is amazing for an astringent toner (the product did say it still moisturizes instead of saying dries out oily skin). But since it wasn't as moisturizing as my Kayman's toner, I usually skip it instead. Products feel is so important for my adherence lol. But if you're looking for a simple and light toner, this is it for you but I would strongly suggest to always use a moisturizer afterward. The packaging however is weird. It sprays but it didn't create a fine mist so I sprays it on my hand and then applies it on my face.


I'll  be using Nutox Renewing Treatment Lotion once my Kayman's toner finished. I am not a fan of Kayman. I have been spending and surveying lots for the past few months so finally deciding on Nutox is such a relief.

That's it folks!

My Mind Is So Loud

My Mind Is So Loud

Jan 13, 2020

To be honest, I'm not really sure what to write. There are lots of stuff in my head right now and it has been this crowded for weeks. I can't focus. That was why I hardly update my blog lately. I've been going out quite frequently and whenever I got time to myself, I feel this need to scroll something on phone or watch Netflix. I can't focus to chill or read or write. My mind just won't be at peace.

I notice that I keep on putting it away, not really trying to understand and address it. I realize that it has now occupied me. I'm just not at ease. I'm either feeling this void that I need to feel or utter excitement. That is what so weird about it. I am not sad or wistful, I'm just in this void of feelings which awfully needs an active distraction. It wasn't bad but I guess keeping myself busy with stuff wasn't really my way of coping. Writing it does. So now let me spill everything out!

First of all, I've been feeling lost in my work. It grows mundane. Going in and out. I need to try and do more and I just got this idea to work on a mini-project that I hope can be useful for my colleagues as well. What's amazing is that this mini-project will make me read more and learn. Learning is a powerful thing to do and I hope it will make me sharp and the satisfaction will encourage me to do more.

Secondly, I need to address how my circle of friends at work has been a great wonder. I'm proud of the bond we have created which was created rather unexpectedly. I keep on thinking how lucky I was. If I didn't try to open up more, if I didn't try to get out of my comfort cocoon, if I didn't try to just do everything however spontaneous, we might have not created this strong of a bond. It was so precious since I never thought we could work this kind of friendship here at work. Especially when I have been feeling that I am alone with no one to click with since forever. Just last Monday I meet up with some friends from PKD just to chill after two of them got their contract result. They didn't get a permanent post as well. I am happy that we can be there for each other's support. While last Friday we went to try a new place here and one of my friends (who is quite childish) insisted that only our "gang" should go so she made us keep our lunch date a secret. It was so stupid but I got along with it and then it ended up with me not sharing that delicious nasi arab review on my Instagram #lol

Oh ya! I've been Instagramming! It didn't feel as suffocated as it does before. I guess it was because I wanted to earnestly know what has been happening with my friends and also just to have some other form of interaction with my colleagues as well. I made the most random stories and although it does leave this nagging feeling that I am oversharing but I just shut that voice up and focus on how good I was feeling. But I really do need to cut out socmeds since I have been using it to shut out how loud my mind was being. It was so loud that I can't focus on reading.

I can't focus on my reading! I have started 2020 with IQ48. The book is 1157 pages thick with the smallest print ever. But as usual, Murakami's work always sends me to my warmest escape and it is just so addicting. But if I can't just chill, I won't ever finish it.

I can't focus on writing poetry too! I want to write so badly. Sometimes the urge comes and the words feel so close but when I got my pen and paper, I just can't work it through. It was so damn annoying and frustrating.

It also messes my sleep. My body got tired but I can't just go and sleep. I always feel all worked up and even though I made myself leave my phone and just closes my eyes, I can just simply go to sleep. I usually got my most decent sleep at home and now I can't wait to go home so I can catch my sleep. I keep on waking up late this week and having my periods just make it worse. 

The next thing to address is I am now a skincare freak. I spent quite a lot this month on skincare products and I am due for peeling treatment tomorrow. Skincare is expensive and I also bought some for my sisters and I still keep on spending. I need to share my haul during Watson's cosmetics sale and the just recently ended Guardian's 40% discount on skincare products. I'm now officially stopping experimenting and will keep on using a range of products for my daily routine. I am so excited to share it but it won't ever be shared if I didn't pull myself together. #ripmoney

I have finally changed my cracked windscreen and also put a new tint film on both windscreens and rear window glass. That is some serious money as well but it does make me feel so good. I just can't get enough of my car #lol. I'm sorry for being this annoying but for god sake, I have been living with the cracked glass for monthssssssssssssssssss. It feels good cause I feel like I'm finally being a responsible car owner. I'm eyeing this cool gray car's carpet but that will have to wait because my cracked phone is due for repair. I got a feeling that I will make it cracked again so I'm putting it behind until February's paycheck. It's funny how the horrendous crack on my phone doesn't really bother me.

I really need to plan my money well.

Oh ya, I think I also need to address my crush. My on and off crush and now slightly on but not so on oh my god whatever. I understand that it is just a mere crush but I like how giddy it makes me feel. So I'm going to revel in it for a while. 

Lastly, two of my friends are most likely to moves out to a new place. It wasn't official yet but we have strong reasons that their application will be approved. This has been bugging me for the last two weeks. I'm trying so hard to be chill about it. It wasn't easy since both of them were my housemates. Not only I'm going to miss their company but I'm also loving my current rented house. I ain't paying the whole house rent alone, for sure. I'm still indecisive to either stay for a month with the reduced rent (our landlord was so nice to cut the rent until I got new housemates) and sees if I can get new housemates or just moves out to a new place that rent out per room. The chances of getting a new housemate are slim to none though. Not to mention staying alone in this house could be awfully boring. 

I hope I have written everything down. 

I actually got the whole week off so let's hope the comfort of my home will do wonders.

musing 2019

musing 2019

Jan 1, 2020

We went to Teluk Intan hoping there will be some fancy countdown-to-2020-fireworks but there was nothing. We spent the holiday trying out food around Sekinchan, went crazy at Watsons, play some bubbles at Pantai Redang and just having a good time. Amidst the fireworks being a no show, New Year has kick-off well. Well enough that I feel that I can do this now.

2019 was supposed to be "the" year. It was supposed to be my life-changing year after my PRP-ship.  You see, I have never believed how a year is like "hard" or how New Year means it is a time to be "making resolutions" because time is a construct. Everything just happens. Either at your will or the other way around. Or never. But god, 2019 was a rough one. 

Wow, I have never thought that I'll have this kind of opinion.

I am not recapping 2019's resolutions or what I have done in 2019. It wasn't because I'm ashamed of it. I aced some and failed some and just neglected another lot. I just don't feel like it. It feels useless. Everything was done already. 

For the past week, I have been musing to write how 2019 has been. I've gone through my gallery to see all the pictures and I even check the year's timeline at Google Maps. I've gone through Twitter to look for this one picture this evening and accidentally saw that a lot more has happened afterward. What happen is that it feels okay to keep it to myself. No best nine for me.

What I want to tell about 2019 instead is how I have been. I want to tell how I was going all over with my writing. How I've been trying to connect more with my friends. How I try to be more open up and just accept myself for who I am. How music, books, and movies have been my most beautiful escapes. How I made myself tries out more new stuff. How I have been feeling like a total loser but now I'm not. How I am fearing the kind of person I might turn out. How amazing it was to be a skincare enthusiast. How much I can love or I can't love. How scary it feels knowing my future isn't yet set but at the same time excited for a new adventure. How I hate myself for some stuff and how I love myself trying hard to not succumb to it. How simple life can be if only you choose it to be.

I was really getting to know Afifah better. 

But it will be a long and unnecessary story to tell. It is unnecessary because deep down I know that I've got all that resolved already. No cliffhangers. One thing for sure is that I lived in 2019 by the day and hold no loose ends. Except for my car loan.

I am not doing resolutions again. 2019 will be my first and my last. 

But I can still read through my tag "2019" to review how 2019 has gone by. Maybe I can learn some from it.

Maybe one day.

For now, I need to think about which baju batik I need to wear tomorrow.

p/s - I took one hour to write this