Do You Guys Need a Blogger Community?

Do You Guys Need a Blogger Community?

Aug 3, 2019

The title is actually the whole post. Yup. Can I just stop here and let you guys comment if you want it or not?

But alas, pfft. This is me you're talking about, I always have something more to say.

I have been blogging for almost 10 years. Oh my god, I'm old. Yet I have never found any good blogging community-ish stuff which is based in Malaysia that helps me to grow as a blogger. Grow here means to be able to make a good blog that blog what I wanted (in this case, a lifestyle blogger) without the need to do those random articles just to get more clicks or that "follow for follow"/"comment for comment"/"click ads for click ads" culture.

That what happens in most blogger clubs I have joined in those early years. They do help in getting the blog more recognized and the blogger does get bonded well but it wasn't fulfilling for me. I stopped getting in the blogging community until two or three years back when I realized there are more good blogs that I loved to read (especially those on my blog-list widget).

Am I the only one who overthink this stuff?

Anyway, that has made me blog more these days. It was more fun. But we still lack a means of community.  So come the second question, do you guys also need a mean of community cause I think, as long as it is online event, I can cater it. Of course, I am delighted if there other people who wanted to help me.

The idea is for me to be a simple moderator and I am not going out of twitter. So I'll probably make a Twitter account (call it @malaysianbloggerr probably, we need a cooler name) and probably have a weekly thing like a blogger chat and monthly thing like a topic for us to write about and thus share our thoughts about it.

I need an active participation of course and twitter sends better exposure than other social medias.

So what do you guys think? Am I daydreaming or this is doable?

Comment your thoughts and suggestion here and since I'm using Disqus it will serve a rather good means of discussion too.

Disclaimer, I am so not doing this to publicize myself or my blog, I just need a good Malaysian based community and if this goes well, everyone can benefit from it?

So, do you guys need a blogger community?

About July and Trying Things for Ten Days

About July and Trying Things for Ten Days

Jul 20, 2019

It's the twentieth of July and I didn't have any target set for it. I'm too laid back. I eat what I want and couldn't care less about living healthier. But at least Ihave cooked more. I just pick up reading like three days ago. I should really care more for my skin. I am practically giving up in any traveling plan but god I wanted so back to go to that Da Vincci gallery currently held now. I didn't write much too.

But I just realized I have achieved all but one target that I had for June. That's a good achievement at least.

I finally finish my NaPoWriMo tag. I re-read everything and decided that some of it may need polishing but that's another job for another time.

I also finished Mikhail and it was just meh, just so. I decided that Ramlee Awang Murshid isn't a favorite so I'm forgoing the plan to read his other books.

I finally tried that automatic deduction from Maybank and it works. This is all nothing but just technical but I got stuck for a quite some times so that is why I made it a goal to ensure I actually put this behind me.

I have sent the batik that I got for a present to be sewed but it's still not done.

The video that I did for our department for Eid turned out cute and funny. It was so satisfying.

The blog makeover was quite a success? I tweak the code like crazy for a few nights to get the grid view smaller and that was it. I should put more work into it.

The last target would be to write one post about a topic that suits my niche which means more opinion based posts. I wrote about how music affected me. It was such an exaggerated writing but I like it dearly.

I tought of just letting July go but I got an idea this morning to make July worthwhile. I'm thinking on trying some new habits for a short period of time which in this case, I hope I'll do it for 10 days.

The said habits are -

1. To make my bed every morning - it was FlyFm advertisment that has influenced me.

2. To sleep before 11 - this is going to be so hard

3. To drink two litre of water 

Now, how do I trace this?

Life Lately and A Quick Mental Health Check

Life Lately and A Quick Mental Health Check

Jul 17, 2019

This post is a TMI but feel free to read and share an insight.

It has only been the 17th of July but god, July already feels like forever. I got the entire first week of July to myself. I didn't have anything much planned for the week and yes I'm rather bored to be staying at home doing nothing. But I still take the week off.

Why I take it? Because I can. Plus, it's a good week to use up my "cuti". 

I spent 1st of July joining a fun run and the day after going to two open houses hosted by my colleagues. I even manage to went with a friend of mine that I hardly get to meet and spend like two hours chatting (gossiping will be more accurate tbh). 

I finally went to Hannan Medispa at my hometown, did that Janus machine skin analysis and did a treatment. I actually bought a package and to my surprise, it is far cheaper than Dr. Ko's. I'll do a review once I did at least four sessions of treatments.

My aunt was at my home so it was good catching up with her as well and of course eating all the delicious foods she cooked. The week ended with a one and a half day Pharmacy Conference that I went with my UKM friends. I even get to meet an old colleague that has moves out last March plus another UKM friend as well. The best would be that I  made them eat at Muhammad Chan because "I feel like eating actual Chinese foods". Really good foods but we didn't order much Chinese menu so like what even afifah?

Did I mention how stupid I feel to be in that conference given by all top healthcare professionals in Malaysia? It was the most bilis moment ever.

It was fulfilling and I daresay a quite productive weekend. It feels good to be able to do these but I wasn't feeling ecstatic or anything. It was just good. I did this kind of update for April and I remember feeling so good about it but I wasn't feeling it as much this time around. I'm very much thankful for it but honestly speaking, I only remember feeling so tired the week after. Probably because I need to catch up on my work. 

I went home again last weekend because my sister got a bad case of rashes that itches all over her body. I was so ready to sleep the weekend but being a good sister that I am, I went home. We don't even know what could possibly trigger it. She is good. Got a shot though, which I predicted she will so it was funny.

Now this is where everything went even downhill.

My dad borrowed my car and get into an accident. No one was hurt and the car can still move but the bumper got a deep dent and scratches a deep straight line on the driver's side. My dad went home instead of doing a police report right away and I guess he was still in shock that we only do something two days after. 

If he wasn't involved, I'll just settle it myself. It's difficult to explain but since he did it, it's his thing too and if you know my dad, you would know he wants to settle everything himself, his way. But he wasn't being one in this case and it was just too much for me. I can't push him much because I know he needs time and even though I was either on the verge of going mad or bursting in tears, I tried my best to show that I am all sunshine and rainbow so that he won't feel bad.  It was the worst two days ever.

I was so overwhelmed. Not only the car made me feel that way, but it was also me being mad at myself for being this way. At one point I tried so hard to not feels this horrible and just be redha and at one point I was venting so bad at my sister just so I can feel something other than this horrible battle of judgment on what I should feel. I wasn't questioning why this happen to me but I was questioning why can't I make peace with this? Why did I let it bothers me this much? Why am I feeling this way anyway? Why can't this feeling go away? Am I a bad daughter? a bad human?

I made myself sleep just to pass the time and hope my dad will come to his sense and I remember just making myself made a proper duaa but only ended up saying I'm tired. It was only for two days but I got so tired that I went to sleep so early for two nights after. I don't even do anything. I want desperately for this to get this behind and writing usually does it but I can't even make myself to write. I already had my hand on the keyboard and I just switch everything off.

We were having a birthday party today and to my surprise, it was just the thing I need. I guess it helps to clean that short dark moment. It was so stupid actually. It was planned because there are plenty of us that were born in July. They never throw a birthday party at the pharmacy and everyone was like "lamanya takda birthday party untuk diri sendiri". We pull out some money and bought nasi lemak and ayam berempah. They make a makeshift photo booth that barely holds and bought a fancy cake with that fancy firework birthday candle. There's a lot of other good food too.

I'm not sure why but this party is a good one. Was it because it relieved me from my mini-meltdown? or was it just that good of a thing? I read somewhere that it is good to have something good to expect from a day to make it more fun. Or was it because I got that more than enough two nights sleeps? Probably because I had two cups of coffee as well. I don't know the exact science. It will be good if I know it.

Anyway, did you see how much I have spent by this time? I'm practically broke.

Did you know that Guardian has a 40% off on skincare products the other day? That happens too and that's another haul that I did which I wanted to update here but well, I still didn't.

What's the last thing about your mental health that you realized? It can be a good one of course.

The Battle of The Toners (one for oily skin)

The Battle of The Toners (one for oily skin)

Jul 11, 2019

It was either this topic or my half-year update on my New Year's Resolution. I choose this topic to write first because I have a few other beauty related topics that I wanted to write but I always put it on hold. It was mostly because I'm always tired and I am somehow always busy on off days. I swear I'm not procrastinating those updates cause everyone knows I suck so bad at my resolutions.

Ok. Since the air conditioner in our hospital has been down for ages, I was wondering if it causes my face to become oilier. My toner and moisturizer are from Aiken. Even though Aiken's were water-based products, I was curious if the tea tree oil content might cause my face to become oilier so I wanted to try new ones. I bought a new toner first and conveniently found this tweet telling about the 7-steps toner. 

I wanted to share the tweet but I'm just too lazy too screenshot it so you guys just have to with your guts and trust me.

It basically means to apply the toner seven times which is a kind of way to moisturize your face as well. Just apply the toner by dabbing it, wait for it to dry and repeat. Since I was loving my new toner, I decided to skip moisturizer and do this. When I knew for sure the new toner works well, I decided to try to mix in other toner and that is how I ended up trying three new toners.

By the way, some disclaimers, my pores aren't that big? I don't know but I never really bothers by it so the toners are merely there as it is a skin routine and since it gives a moisturizing effect as well, it just makes me love it even more. Having said that, I didn't think these toners really makes me feel like "omg my pores are a whole lot better after wearing this"

So here is my say!

Aiken Tea Tree Oil Toner

 

Gotta give it up to Aiken first. Apparently, although my face does become oilier due to all the sweating in a non-air conditioned closed room, it was also because my skin is just an oily type. I should have used back a cleanser for oily skin. I stopped using it because my face got so dry while eating acne medicine. But since I didn't eat it anymore, it was best for me to use appropriate cleanser so that my skin didn't get too oily. Since the air conditioner is back on functioning so well, it is okay for me to use Aiken again. Aiken has that slight stringent effect but mostly refreshingly moisturizing. It is water like to the touch with only a hint of slimy/oily feels. I always love how it makes my face feel refreshed. Since it is also so cheap, it is still a really good choice for toner.

Nutox Renewing Treatment Lotion

 

This is the first toner that I tried after Aiken. I told the salesperson (?) that I wanted something that will be good for acne prone skin and since he saw my old acne scars as well, he suggested this. The texture is slightly slimy than Aiken's but it wasn't oily at all. It gave a better moisturizing effect and made that 7 step toner far more fun. My face feels so hydrated too. But it cost me around RM40 which is triple than Aiken. The price is actually okay if I wore it just once instead of seven times. Hee.

There is this time when I didn't have any spot treatment for that monthly menstrual acne but somehow the inflammation reduces quite noticeably even only by wearing this toner. Although it is good to have a dry face instead of an oily one, hydration is also important for better wound healing so yay Nutox. I'm now using a Hada Labo moisturizer cause seven steps are a tad bit too much for a lazy person like me so I'm going to continue using this toner instead of Aiken. I just feel like I need to cut down any traces of oil altogether.

Klairs Supple Preparation Toner

 

I bought a trial sized one from an Instagram shop. I bought it since there are many good reviews about it. The texture is in between Aiken and Nutox, not too watery but not as slimy. However, it didn't give me that refreshing or hydrating effect. I keep on using it together with Nutox but since it didn't give me that satisfying feeling, I just don't feel the urge to wears it anymore and simply settles for Nutox only. It's quite sad cause it is supposed to have all those good stuff for the skin but I don't wear it anymore just because it didn't give me "that feeling". It really be like that sometimes.

Hada Labo Hydrating Lotion

So after my endeavor with Klairs didn't turn up well, I decided to buy Hada Labo's trial set. There is one for dry skin and one for normal/oily skin which cost around RM25. This allows me to try both the toner and the hydrating gel. The hydrating gel feels so good. It doesn't feel oily at all and directly absorbs into in my skin and made it feel so plump. But the toner, however, wasn't. It literally feels like water and I need to use quite a few more drops than usual because it gets absorbed right away. It too wasn't as moisturizing and refreshing as Nutox. I guess it makes sense since the hydrating gel works well. By this time I was convinced to just use Hada Labo as my moisturizer and thus skip that seven-step toner. However, I might change my mind and use both Hada Labo's and Nutox's toner since Hada Labo ones got all those hyaluronic acid and stuff.



That's it!

I wanted to tell how the texture is because having an oily skin makes me really particular on the products feel. I couldn't get a hand on Nutox's moisturizer to test on my skin so that's why I didn't try that one first. In conclusion, these all are a good choice for oily skin. Even though Aiken's has tea tree oil, you can hardly feel it so it really is okay. Actually, I probably a tad bit too in love with Nutox.

Three Times I Overthink Music (or that time when i hate k-pop)

Three Times I Overthink Music (or that time when i hate k-pop)

Jun 23, 2019

You know that article where they go into vivid details into life-related topics but it is like so mundane and you got confused at why they need to be this particular for, this is one of it.

First and foremost, I'm an Army.

I like telling peoples that. Did you now have a second thought about me?

I can say I'm into K-pop instead but saying I'm an Army, particularly in Malaysia, will always give out this spite and god I live for that. I live for that time when you thought I'm one thing but no, I'm so much more. Peoples are so much more. Who knows I can be this petty?

Anyway. I wasn't always an Army. I used to have a phase when every song I played is only from Bastille. I still have the biggest love for Maroon 5 and Adele is a world's treasure. As you can see here, my music taste is heavily from the western side. Minus my high school time when I watch anime avidly and remembers the OST so well or that time when I always watch Music Bank. Do you know KHS? That was a thing too.

source

So now I want to share some stuff that music has made me think deeply (maybe a little bit too deeply) and this is like so weird but seems like a fun thing to write. Plus, my new niche is all about embracing life. In all way possible.

Apparently, stereotyping a skin color/nationality/race also applies to music and I am one of them

K-pop has influenced me for the longest time. I was there when MTV first aired Big Bang and it was a big hit that then they suddenly have a show for k-pop songs. Imagine how weirded out I was. I always put MTV on (internet wasn't an option for me then) and suddenly some Korean dudes with the most intense music video are on my tv (it was Haru Haru, still my favorite until today). 

But the craze was shortlived because apparently, not all k-pop group was like Big Bang, Super Junior or Girl Generations. At one point it seems repetitive but peoples are still going nuts over it. It is only in 2017 that I started to love BTS and started to listen to k-pop again. I realized the years has been good for them. They now have so much to offer and it's sad that most peoples don't realize that simply because they are some soft Korean dudes and their fans are stupid teenagers.

First of all, teenagers nowadays are so brilliant.

Secondly, I was one of them too. I never thought of them as softies or gay whatsoever but just that k-pop is a teenager thing to do. I lived my entire life (or at least until two years back) thinking that western peoples are the best version and it turns out that US has some serious problems that Trump is now a president and Europes with Brexit and racism and begging for money so that they can continue their trip across Asia because it is a life changing experience to do. Not until now, that I let the benefit of the doubt seeps in that I understand how tough the industry is and how avid the fans are. Not until I got to a point to think that it must be for a reason, like how everything is. Like how peoples become mad with football. BUT, even if it is unreasonable, I must respect that.

Well, not understanding a thing in Korean might also be an issue here but I have started singing anime OST since high school so that is really not an issue. But to degrade others liking something because" it was stupid, you don't even understand them" is not cool. Not cool at all. Music transcends boundaries guys. Life 101. Don't you know that?

I never hated Justin Bieber and Miley Cyrus or that time when I want to stop hating Taylor Swift's song but ended up hating it even more 

I never hated Justin Bieber and Miley Cyrus. That Wrecking Ball is good and music videos are always so weird so it wasn't anything strange to me. But if you know me, you would know that I hate Taylor Swift's songs.

Hate is such a strong word.

Okay, maybe I'm just a little bit annoyed. I love "Love Story" though. Anyway. It's nothing personal. It is just her songs is not my type and it gets a little overwhelmingly annoying because it will always be played on the radio. She is so famous. But weirdly enough, why must I hated all her songs? Was it because of all her failed love affairs and the songs that come with it? Everyone does that though. Justin Bieber and Miley Cyrus aren't the best of humans too.

But why? Taylor Swift's songs were catchy, her voice is incredible, she is so versatile and she is a great philanthropist too. But I don't like her songs at all.

On the other hand, sometime earlier this year, I somehow just can't do any sweet love songs. The kind that is too cutely falling in love. After a few months, I realized that I never feel anything like that. I  still like my old cutesy falling in love songs. For me, as long as the lyric is beautifully done, regardless of the topic, I'm good to go. Slowly, I started to accept love songs back. It was so weird.

I realized I can't do one thing and then realized I have never been that way and somehow I got back to my old self again.

What that has taught me is that I can sometimes act way differently and just not realizing it. That changes can really creep up on me even on something that I have made myself clear that "I stand on this solidly". What I did after having such a realization? I decided to challenge my own stereotype.

I then decided to not hate Taylor Swift's song (yup, I really did that). Maybe I keep on hating her songs just because it is her songs. I decided that I need to challenge my own stereotype so I put on her tops hits together with Musixmatch, ready to sing my heart out.

I started with Blank Space cause that is my least hated music and I ended up actually hating it. Turns out her lyrics feels too childish for me and that is why I can't do Taylor Swift songs. Basically, it was my rule 101, if the lyrics are good, I'm good to go.

THAT IS WHAT I CALLED AS WHEEL OF EMOTION

Old people that say today's song is poorly made and their old songs are better is only such way because they can't accept changes

So there's this colleague of mine that I love to make fun of and he then makes fun of me liking BTS justifying his late 90's and early 2000's songs were better. I told him how could he be right when there are millions of Army out there. That got me thinking because I do have those favorite songs that aren't being made such way anymore and I finally am among those who say "there aren't any good songs anymore". My playlist is mainly of songs from a few years back and it was funny because I'm only 26!

Although there are oldies songs that I like (if Hey Jude and Hotel California are considered as such), the composition and even the lyrics are obviously not something that today's generation would wind up and be considered as a today song. They will always be referred back to that past generation. But peoples changes. Newer (mainstreams) songs cater to newer generations.

It is just inevitable. There aren't any superior generations with superior songs. Realizing this, I notice that I'm just not used to the new songs because it wasn't from my usual singers. I think I was not open enough to new things. Jonas Brothers have been reunited and Sucker was so good but it wasn't anything that the Disney's Jonas Brother would ever come up with but I still love Loves Bug and Burnin Up just the same.

I realized that I just rejecting new songs because it is new and not something I used too. It was just like when I need Writing on The Walls and Dangerous Woman to come out that I realized both Sam Smith and Ariana Grande has some powerful vocals. Although I can keep on living in the past with my old songs and simply says today's generation didn't know better cause I'm older, but where's the fun in that? I'm not letting go of the excitement of knowing new songs!

I kid you not, I really did be thinking this deep and then started to put newer songs into my playlist.

Are you as heavily opinionated on music like me? Or am I just overreacting?

Hey June (don´t make it bad)

Hey June (don´t make it bad)

Jun 10, 2019

Someone tweets that 2020 is in six months and it is rather mind-blowing? That's a whole another decade coming in and I have only finished reading seven books for 2019 lol.

I'm having a headache right now and it is just so sudden. Annoying too. I'll probably be rambling nonsense through this post and things that I have done that I thought I needed to highlight it somewhere,

Yes, I do notice it is already the 10th of June and I should do this post earlier. Omg, my headache is so annoying.

As there is no actual target for May, I won't be doing any recap. Although I did wanted to at least finish Mikhail. I didn't. Mikhail is an easy read and I can manage many pages per sitting but to actually sits and read was a weird kind of problem for me. Like now, I'm currently doing the night shift, and as always, I bring myself a book. However, I decided to bring along Langit Vanilla and start this new read instead of finishing Mikhail. I should really read Mikhail and just be done with it. Langit Vanilla is good though.

I also wear all my baju kurung during May. I wanted to ensure that I wore everything since I did the no baju kurung on April. I don't even need a month. This clothing rules that I made actually make me feel even more secure with my wardrobe and feels guilty to buy more. It just feel like it will be a waste since what I have now is plenty enough. Though I did found some cute blouse that are so cheap and I just have to have it. I bought two. It was a good buy. For June, I'm going to wear all my tudung and shawls. This will be tricky since I need to match it with the right clothes. More ironing I guess.

I got a week of holiday before raya and it was a bliss to just stay home and I even manage to do some tidying up around the house that I didn't get to do it before. But I have to work on the weekend after raya. My rendang turns out good y'all.

I still didn't finish my NaPoWriMo. Between fasting, working and the lack of sleep, I just don't find the will to sit and write poems. 

I realize a friend of mine is rather spoiled or too priviledged? The rich and beautiful kind of privilege that she manifested in her opinions and personality. I think no one says anything because she's pretty (I don't think many realized that she is on the rich side). It wasn't anything major but there's another friend of me that might conjure up the very same type of attitude and I can imagine how bad she's going to be condemned for it. It was in my head for sometime and is a big realization too. I just have to let it out.

Omg, I have eaten painkiller and the effect should have kick in but the headache is still there.

I bought a make up organizer and put all my make up on display instead of in my make up bag so that it is easier for me to actually use it. It looks good. The zipper on the make up bag is broken so I just threw it away.

I actually joins a run on before puasa and there is another one at the end of June. Look at me being al sportyy.

I think June is just restructuring aka "to just be done with it" aka this is going to be my life to do list

1. NaPoWriMo
2. Mikhail
3. Automatic monthly deduction from Maybank (lol random gilaa)
4. Send my baju batik to the tailor
5. Video raya for work
6. Some blog makeover in accordance to my new niche - the pages, about me, tags, yada yadaa
7. Write a post acccording to the new niche

I think I will update more. I just need my life to have more of that "done" element.

I need to have my car serviced in the morning so let's hope this headache will be gone.

Btw, I did something bad yesterday but I manage to cover it perfectly and no one should be affected by it, but I still have this guilt that I need to somehow confess to someone. What should I do?