un bébé

Nov 2, 2013

found this. captured. :)

one week of non stop studying. build up of stress and tiredness and some how at this kind of time, i always feel kind of thing empty feeling. since i want to focus on my studying and i build this distance of me with my usual friend that i always hang out with, and this quite a heart breaking moment though. it just that i feel quite hard to give effort for them since i start to focus on one thing, i 'll forget the rest. this is so not good for my social life, to live a separate life every now and then. need to improve on this.

usually, this empty feeling may cause of "i don't know what to do" and actually "quite lazy to do anything". i would always prefer to spend this time by having a blast with my friend, it just that, with busy schedule and some annoying event happen here and there, it is quite hard.

but i do i went out though. i went for Times Square and have my dinner at Vivo. I dont like it so much. their menu is quite plain. the taste also. didnt plan to go out actually, i simply join my other friends who have plan earlier to go out and even suggest them to try out some new and interesting place. that is how we ended up at Vivo.

i don't own this.

so, the point is, i can be quite unpredictable. it is not like weird or what but at my kind of atmosphere, it kinda does. wie are the nerd. bring the crowd out. applause.

argh. what wrong lah with me. i want to say things but i can't as i feel it is quite not appropriate. to blog it out i mean.

oh ya. set up a list i need to take of during my one week mid semester break.

my Pharmacy Practice course assignment. a video. due this monday.
edit picture for Epharmaline UKM magazine paperwork.
call for sponsorship request for FiMa. this is going to be tense.
gather materials for Immunology course assignment. also a video.
deal with Dr Mohd for exhibition material. btw. Dr Mohd is hot. :)
set up be a better person than yesterday plan.
and also plan on better lifestyle. diet adjustment plus routine exercise. getting fat lah me. :'(
get my printer fix.
oh ya. plan for my facial treatment. need to be seriousssssssssssssssssssssss.
point out things that being covered in mid semester exam. for my juniors reference.
point out things i always do that have to be stop.
study plan also needed. no more excuse of not enough time to study.

basically, i want to reinvent myself. i got this kesedaran during this one week exam. i always want to do this reinvent myself thing but i either stucked or simply failed to follow the plan. but the determination feeling this time was quite lain daripada yang lain. maybe because i'm getting tired of not able to have good self dicipline. or maybe the idea that i'm getting older bothers me as i keep on my old and non productive way. yup. there is another one to my list. need to build self dicipline

#will post this planssssssssss of mine once i got it all fix. pray the best for me <3

roll on : Afifah stressful effect.

Oct 30, 2013

Assalammualaikum!

Current mood. Stress like arghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!!!!

Haha!

Ok, i'm in the middle of exam week. Two paper left and i have this sudden urge to post something though i got tonnes thing to study. i can sometime be really weird. i called it the stressful effect.

aquaria KLCC. underground p/way.

Some thought to point out.

i'm in that time of the month and the stressful exam make my pimples go crazy! this things have troubled me for quite a long time. i try lots of thing but my pimples wont actually become better and my face is full of scar. i got bad habit to pinch my pimples. and the never ending episodes of pimples growth just make it worst. i need to get serious on this. i have also try to see a doctor but...arrgghhhhhhh.. SERIOUS. SERIOUS. SERIOUS,
since now i'm in my second year, i got a single room. it is fun to have your own space since i have been living with 6 siblings for my entire life. but it is quite lonely though. and my room was suddenly the one and isolated from the rest of my course-mates. speechless. not sure it is a good thing or bad thing. but Allah swt have decided everything the best way possible right? POSITIVE.
got those depression kind of feeling every once and a while as if those time when i got into some serious shit during matriculations. i'm not sure it is trigger by what. just that, i hate that vulnerable feeling.
why i always failed to prepare as i want before exams! i managed to do this in matriculation. hmm. need to improve my time management.
i want to be more confidence.
i want to improve my life. currently i do feel my life lack of purpose and directions. it feel like i have lost something. need to do some deep analysis on my life and do suitable adjustment. need to be strict also on following the adjustment. it is not like i'm getting younger.
i suppose to stop writing like 5 minutes ago and continue my study. but then, here i am.
i miss my mom.
i miss my bestfriends.
i miss my siblings.
i need to get focus on my life and stop procnasting. also need to use my time on things that really benefits me. more productive!!
start my study earlier. stop giving excuses that i need rest or i'm too busy. it is never no time to study. come on! i can do this!
stop google things and start doing it!
control your eating and exercise more. build your stamina!
i want to on dean list! badly!!

more importantly, i want to make plans that will improve me as a muslim. like a real strategic plan that i know i can follow it daily. be istiqamah on it. the idea is that i try to improve myself daily. i want to be better than yesterday.

you know something, when i finish designing those perfect plan, i will post it here. for now. my ibadah now is to study!

# I have just changed the melting picture at my sidebar. his name is Joseph Gordon Levitt. i love his cute/hot charismatic figure. i just realized that i got this soft side for guys who nailed suits. they're simply awesome.

roll on : keep rolling

Oct 26, 2013

I never quite understand what does it means to love someone deeply. and sincerely. I don't know why. At first I thought it is just me being cold hearted. Although I know i'm quite a sensitive person but it seems that it may be two separate things.

But i do know how. I see it from my father who always make sure we get everything that we need. I see it from my mother who always so concern about my health. I see it from Angah who never let me down when i ask for help. I see it from Nabila love to hugs me and smile so happily when she saw me home.

Yet, i know and sure that i love them too. Nothing could make me feel less loving them except to love them even more.

Losing really teach you to be grateful and to live in the moment. to appreciate everything. even the smallest thing. cause you could never know when will you lose it forever and what left then to love maybe none. nothing. zero.

and losing have teached me love. i think i quite get the idea of it. the LOVE idea.

it is when you want them to be happy all the time.
it is when you want them to get everything that they want.
it is when you feel guilty when you know that something cannot be undone,
and the one you love would never get the opportunity as you does.

when you lose something so precious. you will feel true love. and you start to realize that there is much more to it. let it go and do the best that we can.

Allah who love us the most never will leave you. So, why so serious?

fun moment. sad that the camera is rosak now. =.='

roll on : take your words seriously!

Oct 9, 2013

i'm not that good with peoples that annoys me. i can be patience and tolerate, but sometimes i just snap. that doesn't bother me much because when i really do that, it is because that thing have been bothering me on and on. i'm not that crazy to marah orang all suka suka hati. though i hope i can still improve this.

just that, i'm quite upset for the fact that i get annoyed easily. although for some people, it is a normal thing to simply accept, i just can't get it. one thing that really bothers me now when living in uni life is that, why people can't live up to their word?

in my atmosphere right now, it seems that your word cannot be trusted at all. a person can't claim for what a person say or show their agreement too. the most common thing is when i set up a time to meet, depending on what kind of deal you are going too, you can actually set allowance for late! amazing right? to think that you can actually predict it. although there are some exception with regard to who is coming also.

fact : if you know you need for allowance of time of 30 minutes (this is the real deal). you could never actually set it to be late for 30 minutes as it will still be 30 minutes late.

and the most awful thing is, i got to go with the flow. since everyone is doing that.

Roll on : National Pharmacy Sports Carnival - NPSC -

Jul 25, 2013

Assalammualaikum!

Lets talk NPSC! Not sure why the sudden excitement. NPSC is basically sports event for undergraduates students and alumni all around Malaysia, which studies Pharmacy of course. This year, UKM get the privileged to host this spectacular event. So, me, being so badly not gifted in sports ended up being a volunteer for football match. I did not attend the meeting and this was given to me un-volunteeraly ( attention. there is no such word ). Not very fancy of it as there would be lots of men. I don't want to be all awkward and stuff. Pffff.

But it ended up to be a joyful weekend. My job was very easy. Since the other person who need to work with is also a woman ( my friend Amal ), and woman are so not going to chase ball that got kicked out the fiead, we only need to keep track of the point. I enjoy the match very much though. By the way, UKM lose. Badly. T__T

The first morning. Gettin ready.

After finishing the game, we got some spare time to shopping and eat ! There is a fair being held near the field, so my friend and I decided to eat and even manage to buy a jersi with our name on it. Well, nickname actually. Mine was "Osem" .

Me with UM bus. This orange shirt is NPSC official shirt.

I planned this event to be a weekend to escape and enjoy. Me, studying pharmacy, our campus and hostels are located at KL. UKM Bangi is the main campus. Since the full facility for sports were there so NPSC was held there. It is like a mini camp. It was only by this time we learned more about UKM Bangi. There are lots of argue on how well equipped is UKM Bangi hostels than UKM KL hostels. Yup there are some things that I find quite unfair for us here to not have. One is to have well organized and fully equipped convenience store. Here, it is only a small store with limited and pricey stock. When at UKM Bangi, we are quite surprised on how the convenience store were full with lots of things and at normal price. Something need to be done about that.

It was fun to know other pharmacy students and cheering our heart out. We have USM, UM, UiTM, AIMST, MSU, CUCMS, Taylor's and also Monash participating this event. We are quite carefree at that time as we did not have lab reports to work on. We eat and walk and talk and talk some more, watch some match and eat again. Kind to think of it, it was a very nice way to enjoy a weekend. It is not about what you do, it is about with who do you do it. Thank God that I got this bunch of awesome people. My friend really know how to have fun. The important thing is, thing less and smile more!